Learning to Love Me

The Big Announcement

2009-06-25T13:49:00.001-04:00

I've moved!!

Check me out at everystepoftheway.wordpress.com.

Thanks for reading!

Sad but then Happy!

2009-06-23T10:54:00.000-04:00

Hi all!!

Stephen and I are okay. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about…two Metro trains collided yesterday afternoon, killing 7.) The crash occurred on the red line and we ride the orange line. It is unsettling to say the least but accidents will always happen and everything we do involves some form of risk. You can’t live your life worried about all the accidents and natural disasters that could occur…what kind of life would that be anyways?

With the Metro crash and the news that Jon and Kate are divorcing, it’s been a sad news morning for me. I haven’t seen last night’s Jon and Kate episode (I was already asleep when it started) and I’m debating if I even want to watch it. It might be too sad. I do know that if I watch it, it’ll be the last episode I’ll watch…I have no desire to see those kids put through their parents’ divorce on national television. I used to enjoy the show and thought it was cute but they should turn off the cameras already!! Can you just imagine being one of those kids in 5 years and being able to watch your parents’ marriage fall apart on TV? How psychologically damaging to be able to relive your parents’ divorce over and over.

On to happier things…

Thank you so much for all your comments yesterday regarding my 16 miler on Sunday!! Anytime I checked my email yesterday and had a new comment, I just smiled. You girls are awesome!!

While I was doing my 16 miler, Lynn was running her first 10K! I loved reading her race recap…whenever I hear about someone else’s race, it makes me really want to run another one soon but I need to focus on my marathon training. So I’m living vicariously through any of you running a race in the next few months.

16 mile run

2009-06-22T11:54:00.001-04:00

I had a 16 mile run planned for this weekend and let me just say…

I totally rocked it!!!

I always like to do my long runs on Saturday morning that way if I want a glass of wine with dinner on Saturday, I don’t have to worry about my run on Sunday. (When I do shorter runs, I don’t worry too much about drinking the night before but now that it’s warmer and I’m running longer distances, I want to make sure my body is fully hydrated and properly fueled.) Well, Friday night Stephen was coming back from his trip to Chicago. Long story short, he was 3 hours late and his bag went to the other DC airport…so we enjoyed a nice romantic meal in the airport waiting for his bag to arrive (I’m totally kidding about the romantic part. It was not the nice “welcome home” meal I’d envisioned).

We also had plans to help some friends move on Saturday. So by the time we went to bed on Friday night and knowing that we had somewhere to be Saturday morning, I held off on my long run and postponed it to Sunday (which ended up working out well as it rained Saturday morning). We helped our friends move and decided to meet up with them later for appetizers/drinks/dinner since we all wanted showers first. I knew that I was doing my run on Sunday morning so no drinks for me. I did get a little teasing and peer pressure to have a drink but knew that one drink would lead to more and a horrible run on Sunday. I wanted a drink (the place we were at has some great martinis and an awesome wine list) but I know from experience that drinking would cause me to have a hard time on Sunday morning.

I woke up on Sunday morning around 7, ate some breakfast, and headed out. It always takes me a while to get ready for my long runs since I like to let my food settle a bit. At first it was misting which was actually kind of nice but then it stopped. There was a slight breeze which also made running a bit more comfortable.

I won’t lie…it was hard but anytime I wanted to give up, I just told myself encouraging things and kept going. At the end, I almost started crying…partly from exhaustion but also because I couldn’t believe that I had just ran 16 miles! I carried a granola bar with me and as soon as I was done running, I ate that granola bar and drank a lot of water. (Last week when I did my 15 miler, I didn’t eat immediately after and I got nauseous and weak.)

Once I was home, I took a shower and then sat in a super cold bath for a few minutes (as long as I could stand it) and foamrolled. I was a little stiff yesterday afternoon but this morning I feel pretty good. My legs are a little stiff when I first stand up after sitting for a while but after taking 2 steps, they feel better.

Oddly enough, my abs are REALLY sore!! I concentrated on keeping my shoulders upright and having good running form instead of hunching over…that must have really worked my abs!

Bullet List Update

2009-06-17T12:53:00.001-04:00

Didn’t mean to go off and leave you all hanging. Life has just gotten in the way lately. Here’s a bulleted list of what’s been going on with me (well, I was going to do bullets but blogger does not like them right now so imagine bullet points in front of each of the following paragraphs):

Work is pretty busy. Besides my usual responsibilities, I’ve been put on a literature review panel so I’m up to my eyeballs in academic papers and books (but it’s for an industry that I find extremely fascinating so I’m mostly enjoying it).

Stephen is out of town this week. I always feel a little off when he’s gone…like there’s no structure to my life. He’ll be back in a couple of days so I can make it until then.

I’ve signed up for the Baltimore Marathon in October!! After my 15 mile run this weekend, I bit the bullet and registered. I’m so excited!

So supremely jealous of the Canadian girls getting together last weekend in Toronto…like really, really jealous.

It’s just hit me in the last couple of weeks how sad I am that Stephen and I won’t be going to Canada this year (his family has a cabin in Ontario). I’ve only been the last two years (compared with Stephen’s 15 years) but I still feel so sad and I’m missing the relaxed atmosphere and being able to jump into the lake anytime I want and the boats and the waterskiing and pretty much everything besides the family drama that we got into last year.

I’ve read some really great books lately but want to do more thorough reviews. I’m in the middle of “Master Your Metabolism” and I’m finding it very interesting.

I’ve got an exciting announcement to make soon. Still working out the details but hopefully I’ll be able to say something in the next week.

Annapolis Pictures

2009-06-03T05:36:00.002-04:00

Hanging out after the race at Navy Stadium.

An orange to go with all of my orange!!

Almost to the finish line! Not sure if you can see it but I painted my fingernails orange to match my tank and visor.

Last curve to the finish line. I didn't even see Stephen when he was taking this picture.

My week of easy running is going well. I did a short 3.2 (5K) yesterday morning before work. Then yesterday afternoon I went to the work gym where I did this strength routine. I am sore this morning!! I've been slacking off on my strength work during the last month and I'm bored with my usual routine so for the month of June I'm going to do the Women's Health Beach Body workout that I linked above two days a week and another routine I found (can't remember what it's called) on two other days a week.

Anyways, so I did that strength routine yesterday afternoon and it left me feeling pretty sore this morning. I got up at my usual time but felt a little overwhelmed with trying to get things done before we leave for Atlantic City tomorrow plus I have a busy workday ahead. I just wasn't feeling running this morning. And since this is my easy running week (AKA, I'm only running when I want and running the distances I want) I decided to spend the extra time this morning and get a few things done around the apartment instead of running. I plan on leaving early for work and getting off a few subway stops early and walking ~20 minutes to work.

I probably won't get a chance to post again before our trip so have a great weekend everyone!!

Zooma Annapolis Half Marathon May 31, 2009

2009-06-01T09:58:00.001-04:00

First things first, this was the most mentally challenging race I have ran. I’ll get to why a bit later but just understand that finishing those 13.1 miles yesterday was so incredibly hard.

I wake up on Sunday morning in our hotel in Annapolis. My clothes and equipment were laid out and ready to go. When I open the curtains I notice something…it’s raining outside. There was no mention of rain in the forecast and it really surprised everyone. I get ready and walk the half mile to the start line. All the while, it’s still raining. I get to the start line where there is no cover and there are huge puddles everywhere. So I stood around for 30 minutes in the rain trying to keep moving so I didn’t get too cold.

The race started promptly at 7 and we were off. There was a huge puddle right at the start line so it took several minutes for me to actually cross the start line because everyone was trying to avoid the puddle.

I wanted to run the entire race with only a couple of short walk breaks to take in Clif Shot Blocks. I did so well for the first 5-6 miles. It continued to rain until about 45 minutes into the race when it stopped.

I ran with my iPod for the first couple of miles but because it was raining I was having trouble keeping my earphones in and then my cord got all tangled and messed up. Close to mile 3 I turned the iPod off and wrapped the cord around my sports bra so it wouldn’t get even more tangled.

At mile 6 I needed to listen to music. So I stopped and walked as I untangled my cord and got my iPod situated. Just to give you an idea of how tangled the cord had gotten, it took me nearly 3 minutes to get it untangled.

After I got my iPod going again I went back to running. About this time my feet started hurting so badly. All the rain had made my socks get wet and I was now getting blisters on the bottom of my feet. Every time one of my feet hit the ground it felt like a thousand needles going in to the bottom of my feet.

Close to mile 8 I was done. I felt like I couldn’t take another step. I started thinking of excuses I could tell the volunteers at the next aid station…my knee hurts, I think I twisted my ankle…so that I could stop running and be carted back to the finish line. A few minutes after coming up with my excuse and getting prepared for a “Did Not Finish”, I thought about what I would tell everyone when I was asked about my race. I knew I couldn’t tell them I quit because I was tired and my feet hurt.

I also thought about the phrase on my Road ID…”Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever.” I knew that if I didn’t finish the race I would regret it.

At this point, I told myself I was going to finish even if I had to walk the rest of the way. My time didn’t matter but I was going to finish. I had to keep telling myself, “You can do this. You can do this. You’re tough, you’re strong. You can do it.” I did not let myself think about how bad my feet were hurting…I just put it out of my mind.

The last 4 miles was excrutiating for me mentally. I was so mentally and emotionally spent. I felt like I didn’t have any fight left in me at all. I didn’t walk the entire last 4 miles but I did a lot of walking/running intervals.

But I finished. My time was 2:31:21, a pace of 11:34 minutes per mile. Not my fastest time but not my slowest. I have pictures and I’ll post them once I get them onto the computer.

Now for a rant…

This race had the rudest non-paying-attention runners in it. I was pushed and ran into at least 3 separate times (not once did the offending person apologize). I was ran off the path and almost fell into bushes (no apology there either). It is courteous when running that if you’re going to pass someone or change your position to look around and behind you to verify that there is no one there! People were just running all over without looking around. So annoying.

And also the paths we ran on were too narrow. We ran for miles 5-11 on a bike path. The turnaround point was on the bike path so there was 2 way traffic. The bike path was way too narrow to have two way traffic! It was ridiculous! I felt so claustrophobic. Very poor planning on the part of the race officials. 3000 runners are going to need more room than a bike path, especially if there’s two way traffic.

Why was it so mentally hard?

After thinking about it, these are the reasons why I think I had such a mentally challenging time:
1) Standing around in the rain before the start of the race. I don’t mind running in the rain as it’s actually refreshing but standing around for half an hour in the rain before I started running was the worst. My socks got wet and that caused my feet to really hurt 8 miles into the race.
2) The 3 minutes it took me to untangle my earphone cord was too long of a walk break. If I take too long of a walk break when I’m running, it is so hard to get my muscles back into running mode. This was too long of a walk break but I needed my music so I’m not sure I would have been able to do anything differently.
3) I’m burned out. 3 races in 7 weeks was too much. My body needed a break and I mentally needed a break. This week will be a light running week (if I feel like running at all)…maybe a couple of 3 milers but no long run over the weekend. I’m taking the weekend off! Stephen and I will be heading to Atlantic City for a weekend away and we’re getting massages!! My body needs some R&R and I’m going to listen to it.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a very inspiring running post but sometimes running is painful and hard. But the thing with running even when it hurts and you scream “uncle” is that you still learn something about yourself. I know that I’m much more mentally tough than I thought I was. Even though it wasn’t fun, it was a good reminder for me that I’m not always going to set a new personal record every time I run and sometimes I’m just going to finish.

Some great quotes from the course

My favorite: “I have met my hero, and he is me.” ~George Sheehan
(Many thanks to Roni for remembering this.)

“Tough times never last but tough people do.” (Thank you Google!)

8 miles and grilled pizza

2009-05-15T11:56:00.001-04:00

So glad its Friday. This has seemed like an extraordinarily long week. Big plans for the weekend include a 12 miler Saturday morning, a Costco trip, the usual errands, hopefully seeing “Angels & Demons,” and some outlet mall shopping. I hope that I actually see some clothes I like…for the past month I have not seen anything clothing-wise I even liked well enough to try on. How come I never see anything when I have money I’m willing to part with and when I’m in super-saver mode I see bajillions of things I want to purchase?

Yesterday morning instead of doing my usual 5 miles before work, I did 8! Wednesday evening I decided that I wanted to run 8 on Thursday morning so that’s what I did. I’m completely aware of the fact that I’m a running addict. I had some things on my mind I wanted to get sorted out. Nothing too big…just my father’s recurring un-supportiveness and I needed to think it over a bit. I haven’t even told Stephen or my sister about it yet but I needed to process it first. I felt awesome yesterday!! All day I kept thinking to myself, “I ran 8 miles before 7 am!!” Awesomeness!!

I am pumped for tomorrow’s 12 miler!!

When I was making pizza for dinner the other night I tried something completely new to me…I grilled the pizza instead of putting it in the oven. Fantastic!! So yummy…the crust is crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside. It was awesome!! Try it sometime, you won’t be disappointed!

Making Lemons out of Lemonade

2009-05-13T08:06:00.000-04:00

This past weekend Stephen was out of town so I spent a good chunk of time on Saturday morning in the kitchen playing around.

I started with some bananas way past their prime:

And made banana bread:

Then I made homemade granola using oats, honey, and peanuts:

I finished with homemade Larabars!! I made my version of chocolate chip Larabars using chocolate chips, dates, and peanuts.

They turned out awesome!! (On Sunday I tried making Cashew Cookie Larabars--Stephen's favorite flavor of Larabar-- with dates and cashews.)

All in all it was a perfect Saturday. I spent time in the kitchen and spent time watching girly movies.

Pacers Running Festival Half Marathon

2009-05-11T07:35:00.000-04:00

Time: 2:24:11

Average Pace: 11.006 minutes per mile

My goal for this race was to finish with an average of 11 minutes per mile and I went 5 seconds over. I'm going to count this as a success though! My friend Kate came and cheered me on (she even had a sign!!). When I saw her, I stopped for 30 seconds, petted her dog and posed for some pictures. I'm so proud of myself! The Las Vegas Half Marathon was 6 months ago and my time has improved overall by 24 minutes!!

At first I was being hard on myself because I missed my time goal by 5 seconds but when I worked it out and my average pace was 11.006 minutes per mile...I couldn't really be disappointed with that! I was way too close to beat myself up about it.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that Stephen is out of town and I don't have pictures from Kate yet (or the official race pictures), I don't have any pics of me running or during the race. So I thought it would be interesting to show you some pictures of how I've been preparing for my races.

First up is my race clothes/electronics/accessories. I like to lay out everything I'll need the night before (way too many dreams of showing up for a race with no sports bra on). I lay out everything in the position it will go on my body. For example, iPod and Road ID go on my left arm and my heart rate watch goes on the right. I put everything in my hydration belt except for my cell phone and I fill up the bottles with cold water/gatorade in the morning. I pin my bib on my shirt and put the timer on my shoe so there are no last minute things before the race. My mental state during the race is much calmer if I'm not running around like a mad woman before I even leave the apartment.

The night before a race I eat like I normally do. I don't have a specific meal I like before racing but I try to have a serving of lean protein, veggies, and carbs. Since Stephen was out of town I wanted to enjoy seafood so my pre-race meal was sea scallops cooked in bit of garlic and onions and lobster ravioli with sauteed spinach.

This was eaten on a TV tray while watching "Gilmore Girls." When Stephen's not home I have a hard time eating at the table...mainly because I don't like sitting on the barstools.

This was my first time cooking scallops and they were delicious!! I only ate 3 of the 6 on the plate...the rest are going to make a yummy lunch later this week!

I got the ravioli from the refrigerated foods section of the grocery store. I simply sauteed the spinach in garlic and onion and used that as a sauce. The ravioli were flavorful enough...they didn't a heavy sauce.

For breakfast before a race I like to have oatmeal with a banana and peanut butter. Since the temperatures are warmer, I didn't want a hot bowl of oatmeal so I made a chocolate chip breakfast cookie.

I used:

1/2 cup oats

1 banana all mashed up

dash of cinnamon

dash of salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 handful of chocolate chips

Combine everything in a small bowl. Spread out onto a small plate and put in the refrigerator overnight. In the morning I put on ~1 tbsp of Dark Chocolate Dreams Peanut Butter and a few more chocolate chips.

Delicious!! And the perfect fuel for a long run! (Note to self, that was a little too much chocolate first thing in the morning...made the tummy hurt a little.)

My entire breakfast together! Breakfast cookie with cup of coffee (I only drank half...don't want to have to pee during the race) and VitaminWater10. I also drank lots of water. I like drinking Propels or VitaminWaters before a race because the slightly sweet flavor helps me drink it quickly. My biggest challenge before a race is to get hydrated.

Anyways, hope you all enjoyed looking at what I do to prep for a race! I'll post pics of me when I get them.

Stomach/Food Issues

2009-05-06T15:26:00.002-04:00

I've been in a weird food mood lately. Nothing sounds good. For breakfast I'm fine because I'm always hungry after running and I'm always craving breakfast foods. But for lunches and dinners, I've been having problems. I'll be hungry but nothing sounds good. I end up eating something because I am hungry but I don't get a lot of satisfaction from it. I don't know if it's because I'm bored with my food choices or the warmer weather...my guess is the food choices. As the temperature has fluctuated this past week, I still feel uninterested in food. I've looked for new recipes and foods to try but nothing has interested me.

And in other food news, I think I might be lactose intolerant. I've never had a problem with dairy before but over the last couple of weeks, any time I eat dairy I get a horrible stomachache and feel bloated. I'm cutting out dairy for the next 2 weeks to see if I feel better and then I'll reintroduce dairy to see if the pain comes back. It seems weird to me that I would just suddenly be lactose intolerant without ever having problems in the past but maybe it's not weird?? I don't know...no one I know is lactose intolerant.

Anyhoo, that's what's going on with my stomach lately...a lot of strangeness.

In running news, my first half of 2009 is this Sunday. I'm excited!! Weather is still looking good...woohoo!!

I am woman, hear me roar!

2009-05-04T14:45:00.000-04:00

This weekend’s long run was in the weather I was hoping to have last weekend for the race. Overcast and mid-60s…great running weather which led to me running 10 miles in 1 hour, 48 minutes (average of 10:49 minute miles)!! So even though I wasn’t able to meet my goal last weekend for the race, I did it on Saturday. Now this weekend is a half marathon and my goal is 2 hours, 24 minutes (average of 11 minute miles). So far the weather forecast is good…I hope it holds up.

I had a weird epiphany this morning as I was getting ready for work. I feel like a responsible, happy young woman. A somewhat basic epiphany but let me explain why this is so mind-blowing. Since I graduated college I’ve felt like a kid playing at being a grown-up…I had an adult job and responsibilities but still felt in so many ways like I was still a girl. I let others dictate my life, my ambitions, my moods, and my feelings. In the past year, I’ve pushed myself emotionally and mentally to be me and to be the me I’m comfortable with. Embracing me as I see me has allowed me to cross over the threshold from girl to woman.

When I pictured myself as a woman I saw myself as a financially secure, healthy (mentally, physically, emotionally), happy person no longer tied to others’ expectations of me or my own inner critic. I’m not 100% there but I’m so much further than I was…far enough to call myself a woman.

I’m becoming more financially responsible and am working hard to get myself out of debt;
I’m proud of my body and what it can accomplish;
I look at food most of the time now as just food, not comfort or an act of rebellion;
I have an idea of where I want my career to go and how to get there;
I’m in touch with what I need and know how to get it (whether it’s alone time or standing up for myself);
I know what makes me happy (running, cooking, spending time with my man) and how to defeat my inner critic.

Thursday's Things to Love

2009-04-30T11:25:00.003-04:00

1) Thursdays that are Fridays because of an alternate work schedule.
2) Foam Rolling! Hurts when I'm doing it but feels sooo good after. (What is foam rolling? Click here.)
3) Having a friend at work. Kate (a girl in my section) and I have really hit it off. We both like to run and read similar books, among other things.
4) My officemate taking the day off. It's so quiet in here!! A nice change from the usual random chatter I typically listen to all day long.
5) Having a few containers of flowers, herbs, and tomatoes on the balcony. They look so pretty and make our apartment feel more home-y.

What things are you loving today??

GW Parkway 10 miler

2009-04-27T17:01:00.003-04:00

So happy to be done and no longer running in the hot sun.

Yea!! A good picture of me running and/or after a race!! Well, as good as a picture can be when you're sweaty and red-faced.

An "action" shot of me putting my phone back in my pocket. Stephen's not the best at taking pictures of me during the race as he's never successfully done it. He gets distracted so this is the best action shot of me on Sunday.

Yesterday (Sunday) was my first race of 2009, the George Washington Parkway Classic 10 Miler. Both days this weekend were predicted to be hot and set records for the highest temperatures. Knowing this, on Saturday I made myself carry around a drink all day and drink as much water as I could possibly drink. I was so glad I did this as Sunday ended up being 94 degrees (temperature during the race was in the low 80s).

I started the race with a time goal in mind—I wanted to pace at 11 minute miles which would mean finishing the race in 1 hour, 50 minutes. And I also wanted to run as far as I could before I took a walk break. I made two rookie mistakes at the beginning:
1) I started off way too fast for me. I was doing 9-9:30 minute miles…way too fast for me. At mile two, I felt it and knew I needed to slow down.
2) I was close to the start line with all the faster people which only made me go faster. I was trying to keep up with other people instead of running my race.

I only got 19 minutes (right around the beginning of mile 3) of running in before I had to walk. And I knew I had been going too fast because my legs immediately felt like lead. I couldn’t imagine going 8 more miles. I was already tired and knew that I would have to do my 4 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking method to finish. I talked to myself and went to the talk that always helps me finish a long run. “Don’t think about how many miles you have left, don’t think about how many miles you’ve done, just focus on the next 4 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking. You can finish this race and you can do it in the time you want but just focus on putting one foot in front of the other.”

Miles 3-5 were okay. I wasn’t feeling strong but I kept going and was able to keep pacing at an 11 minute mile.

Mile 5 I lost my iPod. I didn’t physically lose it but my iPod was having none of the heat and sweat and stopped working. I was so sweaty, the sweat had gone through my case and got to my iPod so it stopped. “Great,” I thought, “I’m going to have to do another 5 miles with no music. This officially sucks.” But then I reminded myself that I did complete a half marathon with no music so 5 miles was nothing compared to 13.1.

Miles 5-7 were uneventful. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.

At mile 7 I got so hot. When it’s August and I’m acclimated to running double digit miles in the heat, the temperature won’t bother me so much. But since the hottest temperature I’d run in since last summer was 70 degrees, my body (and everyone else’s) just wasn’t prepared for that type of heat. I seriously thought about quitting. I was tired, I was hot, I didn’t want to go on. And then I saw an 87 year old woman running. Well, darn it! If an 87 year old woman is going to finish this thing, I’m sure as heck going to finish it as well.

Miles 8-10 had no shade and it was just hot. People that live along the parkway were standing out in their yards with their garden hoses spraying water so that we could run under the cool water and that helped a lot. (I have no idea who those people were but they are amazing!!) I knew at mile 8 that I probably wasn’t going to make my 1:50 goal but I still kept aiming for it.

My final time was 1:51:24….sooo close to my goal. My overall pace ended up being close to 11:08 miles. Honestly, when I realized how close I was, I was mad at myself. But then I realized how I really had given it my all and with the weather, I’m glad I came in so close to my goal.

I was sooo glad I wore my hydration belt. I almost didn’t wear it but I’m glad I changed my mind. With the temperature, I needed to have water accessible to me whenever I needed it and not just every couple of miles at a water station.

After the race, I foam rolled for 10 or 15 minutes. Today I have a little bit of soreness but nothing too bad at all. I have a horrible burn from my sports bra on my neck but that's the only thing that truly hurts. (It also makes me feel like a true runner.)

I’m proud of myself for finishing. I had talked myself into quitting at mile 7 but I was mentally tough enough to keep going.

Next race will be the May 10 half marathon. Oh boy, that's only 13 days away. What was I thinking?

5 miles was too much

2009-04-22T13:12:00.001-04:00

This morning I just was not feeling running. I got up and got dressed anyways then decided that I had to do at least 3 miles. If after 3 miles I was done and didn’t want to do anymore, I would stop. (Typically I end up doing my usual 5 miles after I get out there and get going.) Today I stopped at 3. My legs seemed super tired and I think it was the fact that Tuesday at work I ended up doing about an hour and a half of walking. Kate and I walked to a sporting goods place to get her a CamelBak for her 62 mile hike (!!!!) this weekend and then in the afternoon we went to Ben & Jerry’s for free scoop day but since the line was ridonkulous, we walked around for a while looking for a place to purchase ice cream instead. Between the two trips, it was an hour and a half of walking. Especially on a race week, it’s important for me to listen to my body and this morning 5 miles was too much.

I picked up my race packet Monday night. As far as goody bags go, it was sucky. Just the shirt and race bib. The shirt isn’t your usually t-shirt, it’s actually a New Balance technical tee so it wicks the sweat away and all that good stuff. I wore it Tuesday morning when I was running and really appreciate how the shirt isn’t the usual cotton tee…I know I’ll wear it a lot more since I don’t wear regular t-shirts when I’m running anymore.

Also, if you’re interested…you can go here and sign up to “follow” me doing my race on Sunday!! It’s a quick registration and then you pick my race (George Washington Parkway Classic—should be the only race listed) and my name (Marissa Crawford). My feelings won’t be hurt if you don’t follow me since we’re blog buddies but just thought I’d do a little self-promoting!

I’m working on a “day in the life of me” post…hopefully I’ll have that next week.

Whew! It's Monday? Already?

2009-04-20T16:55:00.000-04:00

I had a great weekend! It started off on Friday by waking up at the usual time (4:30) to drop Stephen off at work so he wouldn’t have to pay $15 for a cab into downtown (he leaves so early for work that the Metro isn’t even operating yet), back home where I read for an hour and took a short nap, to the gym for an elliptical session, into the shower for a quick rinse, off to the library to pick up a book on hold (“The Hour I First Believed” by Wally Lamb), to Marvelous Market for some sushi/lunch, home to put on my ultra dorky bike shorts and pack up my backpack, and off for a great bike ride! The weather was fantastic on Friday! Mid-70’s and sunny. I biked about 4 miles and was hungry so I had my picnic lunch of sushi (where I successfully used chopsticks for the first time!) and laid in the sun and read for a while. I finished the book I was reading (“The Time Traveler’s Wife” which was pretty good…not my absolute favorite book ever but it was still good) and decided to head home. The weather was so nice I really wanted to stay in the sun more but my legs were tired from the elliptical/bike ride and I knew with my long run on Saturday morning it would be better to be cautious. Went to Target for a little bit and browsed around…just took my time looking at things. I didn’t really need anything there but the weather was too nice to sit in the apartment watching TV. Stephen came home and we went to eat and then went to bed early (we were both exhausted).

Saturday morning I got up and headed out for my long run. Again, the weather was fantastic!! But my run was not so fantastic…likely a combination of too much exercise the day before, not really eating on Friday night because I wasn’t hungry, and being tired. I’ve learned though that about every 3 or 4 long runs, I’ll have one that just doesn’t feel great. I didn’t feel strong and the whole thing was a struggle. But the important thing is that I did it and I feel prepared for this Sunday’s 10 miler!! Saturday we went to Costco, ran a bunch of errands, and saw “State of Play”.

Then on Sunday, Stephen went to work (he’s on a 6-12 month detail at another agency but right now essentially has two jobs since he still has to keep up with emails at his home agency so the poor guy has been putting in some major hours) while I did the grocery shopping, cleaning, and laundry. Sunday afternoon we headed out to see the Washington Nationals play the Florida Marlins. The Nationals got a new stadium last year but we never made it to a game so it was our first time at the new stadium. It was nice to be outside even though it was cloudy and the Nationals lost (they have only won one game so far).

And that was my weekend. I’m looking forward to Sunday’s race…I’m going to pick up my race packet after work!!! I hope the T-shirts are nice-looking (I never wear my shirt from the Las Vegas half because it’s a pukey greenish brown color).

Eating Intuitively Update

2009-04-16T14:23:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow’s my condensed work schedule day off…I thought I would be able to take my day tomorrow since we’re in the middle of running estimates but I’ve got all my work done and don’t need to be here so I do actually get to take my day tomorrow. But now I don’t know what to do with my day. Usually I have a list of things I want to do on my CWS days but this time I don’t have anything! I don’t have anything that has to be done or errands to run…what to do, what to do? What a great problem to have…having a day off and trying to figure out what to do. The weather’s supposed to be pretty nice so I might do a bike ride. I’m thinking about packing up a picnic-type lunch with a blanket and book, riding my bike out to a local park and just relaxing in the sun with my book and food. But that will only work if the weather cooperates!!

To give you all an update on how I’m doing on eating intuitively…overall, it’s going well. There are some days where at the end of the day I don’t feel great about my choices but I don’t let myself feel guilty about those choices, I just vow to try harder tomorrow. I really believe that not obsessing over calories anymore has actually helped me make healthier choices. I haven’t weighed myself (and I’m not going to) and I need to do my measurements this weekend (how about tomorrow when I have no plans?) but Stephen has told me several times he can tell that I’m toning up and that I’ve lost inches (and I didn’t even ask him about it, he just told me out of the blue). I cleaned out my closet this past weekend…I had several pairs of pants that were too tight and I never wore but they were just taking up space. As I was cleaning it out, I tried on every pair of pants before I put them in the donation pile…surprise, surprise—3 of the pants fit! I was excited but not as excited as I was when I finished my 11 mile run that morning!

Obviously, eating intuitively is working for me right now so I’m going to stick with it. I enjoy how much freedom I feel I’ve gained by not counting calories. I also have been eating cleaner since I started eating intuitively which just shows that my body craves the unprocessed healthy stuff.

Honest Foods Giveaways

2009-04-16T08:55:00.002-04:00

Honest Foods (Graduate Meghann): http://graduatemeghann.com/2009/04/15/food-cookies-a-giveaway/

Honest Foods (Run to the Finish):
http://runtothefinish.blogspot.com/2009/04/honest-foods-giveaway.html

I'm most excited about the blueberry crackle granola plank with a cold glass of milk!!

Running Crazy

2009-04-13T12:47:00.001-04:00

Hey peeps! What’s up? How’s life?

Life for me is good. It’s been a while since I’ve written…I just haven’t felt like I’ve had anything to contribute lately so I’ve been silent. This week at work I’m actually going to be busy…it’ll be the first month where I’m running my estimates and publishing my results. I also have a conference this week (Sidenote: it is sooo wonderful to work for an organization that truly values me as an employee/economist and is willing to pay for me to attend conferences where I can learn…compared to my previous employer which did not pay for conference registrations for research analysts.) (Sidenote #2: It’s also fantastic that I’m not planning this conference!!! Which felt like all I did at my old job.)

Anyways, I’m very excited to actually be running my estimates. I’m fully aware that to some people I’m a dork for being excited about estimating GDP. But I don’t care…I embrace my inner dork.

Enough about work, training is going well. This weekend I did an 11 miler and it felt great. Sure I was tired at the end and my legs were a little sore for the next couple of hours but I woke up on Sunday feeling great with no next day soreness. And I felt great when I was running. I’m going to be completely self-indulgent and pat myself on the back here…It was drizzling Saturday morning when I started my run. I had looked at the radar and it showed things clearing up in the next hour so I decided to head on out figuring that the first half would be a little drizzly and the second half would be clear.

I was 50% right…the first half was drizzly but the second half was pouring rain! I thought for half a second about jumping on the subway but instead I embraced my inner bad ass (wow, I have a lot of inner “me”s I’m embracing today) and kept running. My baseball cap was soaked with rain and sweat and water was dripping off the bill, my shirt was soaked and sticking to my arms, my socks and shoes were soaked and making that squishy sound on every step but I kept going! It also helped that I was wearing the most awesome North Face vest Stephen got me for my birthday…it was great in the winter because it kept me warm but it’s also great in the rain because it is completely waterproof so my core stayed dry. I also found a new nature park a few miles from where we live…I love finding locations when I’m running that I would never find otherwise!

My first race of 2009 (George Washington Parkway 10 Miler) is less than 2 weeks away and I’m excited!! Then I’ll have one weekend off, my first half marathon of 2009, two weekends off, and my second half. I don’t have any races planned after that (until the October marathon) but I’m looking for some others…I’ve been bit by the racing bug now!!

I think I may be running-crazy…Kate (a girl at work who I really like…we’re doing a book exchange and she’s a runner) brought me information today on this race. We both really really want to do it…I’m thinking if I still want to do it, I’ll sign up in mid-May. It’s a limited field of 5000 and it sounds so awesome!! (Okay, I know I’m running-crazy because I just said that running a half marathon on a Saturday and running a full marathon the very next day would be awesome.)

Hodgepodge

2009-04-02T10:02:00.002-04:00

Well, no running for me this morning. My legs were pretty sore from the hills yesterday and I just couldn’t get out of my warm bed for the cold outdoors (and it wasn’t even as cold this morning as it has been). Not a huge deal though. I got off the subway two stops away from the stop closest to work and walked 20 minutes to work, I’ll do at least 30 minutes of walking during the day (hopefully more), and I’m going to try to get in a yoga session after work. Honestly, I feel guilty for not going running this morning but I know that my legs are sore and the most important running during training is the long runs. If I sacrifice my long runs for the shorter weekday runs, that does me no good…the long runs are crucial to building my endurance for my races. And I’m getting in extra activity today by walking more than I usually do. Missing my run this morning is not a big deal.

Tonight, I’m going to hear Dick Beardsley speak. From his website:

Dick Beardsley is a champion - in running and in life. Although his competitive running career as an elite athlete ended in 1988, Dick is the 3rd fastest American born runner and he still has the 5th fastest U.S. men's marathon time in history. Best known for his 1982 Boston Marathon "Duel in the Sun" with Alberto Salazar, Dick is also a two-time Olympic Trials Marathon qualifier. He is a two-time winner and course record holder of the Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, Minnesota and has won the London and Napa Valley marathons. But Dick is more than a running champion. He is a fighter. After a series of near-fatal accidents and a journey of self-discovery, Dick has turned his life around. Today, Dick is enjoying his running more than ever.

I’m excited to hear him speak. He’s got a very inspirational story and although I don’t know much about his life, his speech might be more interesting because I haven’t heard it all before.

I’ve been struggling with my food lately. I’ve been eating when I’m not hungry (but just bored) and eating junk. My office mate is the worst eater…Cheetos for breakfast, giant burrito at lunch, soda all day long. I need to remind myself that eating garbage makes me feel like garbage. He is always offering some of his food to me (which is nice) but when I refuse, he keeps asking or acts like he’s offended. I need to remember that even though he gets mad, it’s my body not his and if he wants to treat his that way, fine but I’m not treating mine like garbage.

The Hills, Season One

2009-04-01T13:41:00.001-04:00

Q: Why are people so tired on April 1?
A: Because they just finished a 31-day March.

My officemate is interesting or annoying depending on my mood. He is constantly talking! Yesterday I even had my earphones on and iPod going and he was still talking. And, nope, I didn’t take out my earphones…he could see I had my earphones on and still kept talking. I don’t mind talking to him but he never asks if I’m busy before he just starts talking. He’s one of those people that talk to hear themselves speak…he’s not looking for conversation so I don’t feel bad about ignoring him. Yesterday he told me that I was secretive and never tell him anything about me…well, it’s because he doesn’t want me to talk, he just wants to talk. Anyways, he doesn’t really bother me too much now because I’ve learned to just tune him out.

I went running this morning and went the opposite direction on the trail that I run on in the mornings. Wowza!! There are some major hills going in that direction. At one point I grunted very loudly but darn it, I was going to get up that hill running!! That is the first time I have ever grunted when running (I hate those guys at the gym that have to grunt loudly so you know that they are working hard and lifting lots of weight). I just didn’t think I was going to get up that hill but knew I could do it. And, again, another reason why I like running in the morning when there’s very few people on the trails…I can grunt without getting embarrassed. (Other reasons: singing along with my iPod, doing crazy dance moves to certain songs, punching the air like Rocky…don’t you guys wish you could see me running in the mornings? I’m sure I look like a crazy nutjob.)

It’s actually a really great thing because the marathon I’m training for is hilly and has a 6 mile stretch from miles 16-22 similar to Boston’s Heartbreak Hill. So training on those hills will actually be helpful in the long run…but I’m anticipating I’ll be a little sore tomorrow. I'm going to try to do the hilly part of the trail a couple of times a week (including my long runs). It'll be interesting to see my improvement as I do them more and more.

Italian Tomato Tart (April 2009 Cooking Light)

2009-03-31T13:07:00.002-04:00

I made this last night for dinner and it was so yummy!! Stephen and I both liked it...I love breakfast foods for dinner but Stephen doesn't and this was a great meet-in-the-middle compromise. This would be delicious as a brunch or breakfast item as well. I think the key is to use a good quality cheese and prosciutto instead of the part skim mozzarella they suggest. I put my substitutions in red and you'll see that I prepped the tart ahead of time and all I had to do when I walked in the door was turn on the oven and put in the tart!! Easy-peasy!!

Italian Tomato Tart (April 2009 Cooking Light)

Yield
4 servings (serving size: 1 wedge)
Ingredients
Crust:
1 (10-ounce) package frozen long-grain brown rice (such as Birds Eye Steamfresh)
I used a boil in bag brown rice.
2 tablespoons commercial pesto
I made my own pesto
1 tablespoon grated fresh Parmesan cheese
1 large egg
Cooking spray

Filling:
1/2 cup fat-free milk
1/2 cup egg substitute
1/4 teaspoon salt
I omitted.
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Dash of ground red pepper
1 large egg
3/4 cup (3 ounces) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
I used a good quality smoked mozzarella chopped into thin slices.
1 ounce prosciutto, cut into thin strips (about 1/4 cup)
3 small plum tomatoes, thinly sliced
1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil

Preparation
1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. To prepare crust, cook the brown rice according to package directions. Combine cooked rice, pesto, Parmesan cheese, and 1 egg; firmly press mixture into the bottom and up sides of a 9-inch pie plate coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350° for 15 minutes. Remove dish from oven.
I created the crust and filled it with the egg/tomatoes/prosciutto/cheese then placed into the fridge. When I came home from work, all I had to do was turn the oven on and put in the tart.
3. Increase oven temperature to 400°.
4. To prepare filling, combine milk and next 5 ingredients (through 1 egg) in a bowl; stir with a whisk.
5. Sprinkle half of mozzarella and half of prosciutto into bottom of prepared crust. Top with half of tomato slices. Repeat procedure with remaining mozzarella, prosciutto, and tomatoes. Pour milk mixture over tomatoes; bake at 400° for 10 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 325° (do not remove tart from oven); bake an additional 35 minutes or until set. Cool 10 minutes before serving. Sprinkle with basil. Cut into wedges.

Nutritional Information (with the same ingredients Cooking Light suggests)
Calories: 279
Fat: 13.9g (sat 4.8g,mono 4.8g,poly 1.4g)
Protein: 18.5g
Carbohydrate: 19.3g
Fiber: 1.8g
Cholesterol: 127mg
Iron: 2mg
Sodium: 542mg
Calcium: 289mg

Walks and the first Long Run

2009-03-30T12:22:00.001-04:00

Did I even have a weekend? It sure doesn’t feel like it.

Saturday morning I got up and went out for my planned long run (7 miles this week). When I first walked out the door, it was raining pretty hard. And as hardcore as I like to think I am, running my first long run of the season in a downpour was not going to happen. So I went back upstairs and checked the radar which showed the rain should be clearing off in about 30 minutes. I put together our menus for this week and the grocery list…by that time, the rain had cleared off a bit. It was still drizzly/rainy but not a downpour. And off I went. (My secret for running in drizzle/light rain is wearing a baseball cap…it keeps the moisture off your face.)

I used my hydration belt with 1 bottle of water and 1 bottle of Gatorade (each bottle is 10 oz.). Each bottle had about 2 oz left when I got home. I also took along a package of Luna Sport Moons but didn’t end up consuming them. Pre run snack was a Clif Z bar and a cereal bar. (Sorry…you guys probably don’t care all that much about my fueling pre and during run but I’m using the blog as a way to keep tabs on this stuff so I know what works for me.)

Other than running, we watched basketball (stupid University of Oklahoma lost!!! Woohoo!!! That makes me happy!!) and did our usual weekend errands. We went suit shopping for Stephen and found a few that he purchased.

I’ve started going out for walks during the day. I’m aiming for 2 15 minute walks for my morning and afternoon breaks and then a 30 minute walk for lunchtime (I eat at my desk while working). I’ve also been taking the stairs to my 5th floor office when I come back from my walks. I’m using these walks as a way to explore the area where my office is (it’s on the other side of DC compared to my old office building). Plus my eyes feel so much better when I take my walk breaks…staring at a computer all day really gives me a headache. It’s just a small way to try and sneak in a little extra activity!

Sweaty Sleeper

2009-03-27T10:12:00.000-04:00

So glad it’s Friday!! I haven’t worked a 5 day week in a long time (probably way back in September or October)! I’m not feeling too tired this morning but that’s because I slept in until 6 and didn’t do my workout this morning. I plan on getting a short one in after work. This was definitely one of those mornings where I needed the extra sleep versus getting in a workout first thing.

I’ve been sleeping weird this week and what I mean by that is I’m getting really sweaty in the night. I’ll be cold when I go to bed but then at some point I must get hot and I start sweating like crazy. And for some reason, I’m not kicking the covers off or anything. I just sleep until I turn over and my clothes, sheets, pillow, and hair are all sweaty. It feels gross turning over so I wake up. And then I get cold because I’m all wet. And it’s this cycle that goes on all night. It’s so weird…I don’t know if I’m running a low grade fever or if it’s hormonal or what’s going on but hopefully, it stops soon because I’m getting tired of washing the sheets, pillowcases, and my jammies every day.

Anyways, not too many plans for the weekend…I do have a 7 miler at some point and there are two festivals (kite and cherry blossom) going on downtown so depending on the weather we may check those out.

Confessions of a running addict

2009-03-25T14:48:00.001-04:00

I never mentioned this but last Saturday I volunteered at the National Marathon. I worked one of the water stations. I had so much fun!!! Seriously, tons of fun!! The only thing that sucked was it was about 20 degrees outside and I had no gloves…my poor fingers were frozen when I was trying to fill cups with Powerade. But I still had loads of fun!

It was so awesome to give back to the running community, especially with all the races I have planned. I just had a blast cheering everyone on and getting to see all types of athletes…the lead marathoner who was amazing, the everyday people aiming for a new PR, and then people who were just having fun. I really can’t describe how much fun it was!! The timing was very serendipitous as well…I volunteered for the marathon on Saturday and then on Monday started my racing season training. I was all pumped about starting my training after seeing the marathon on Saturday.

We did run out of cups (when we still had about ½ of the runners to come through our station) so we just put out the water jugs and people drank directly from them. What else can you do? If they’re thirsty enough, they’ll drink out of the jug. But it did remind me when I’m doing my races to not depend on the water stations for water or Gatorade…sometimes they run out (which I learned first hand in December at the Las Vegas half). Plus if I have my own, I can avoid the bottlenecks near the water stations.

Total sidenote—I just noticed my desk is uneven. The top has a gradual downward slope from right to left. It’s not a huge slope but it is slightly uneven. And I kept thinking I was tilting my head funny…must be me trying to keep the computer screen even in my head.

I started reading a book, “The Perfect Mile,” that chronicles three runners trying to post a sub 4 minute mile in 1952. It is so interesting. I highly recommend it to any of you that like reading and running (granted, I’m only 70 pages in but it’s very inspirational).

Hmmm…do you think I like to run? I read books about running, volunteer at marathons, watch DVD documentaries on running (“Spirit of the Marathon” being my top recommendation), wake up crazy early to run, get excited when others talk about being excited about running (seriously, I read Lynn’s post about how she’s thinking of doing a half marathon and got so excited my heart started beating fast). Totally and hopelessly addicted.

Marathon Training has started!! Woohoo!!

2009-03-24T13:06:00.000-04:00

Officially, my marathon training started yesterday but since Mondays are cross-training days, I did 60 minutes elliptical and 15 minutes weights. This morning was my first official training run for the 2009 racing season (well, my 2009 racing season). I was only supposed to do 3 miles but since 5 is my norm, I did 5. I plan on continuing with my usual 5 miles during my weekday runs even though that’s not following my training plan. I just don’t like doing runs shorter than 5 miles unless I’m feeling sick or doing speedwork…somehow I don’t feel like it’s worth it for me to get up so early to only run 3 miles. Weird, huh?

So basically, until I’m several months into the program, the only addition to my usual schedule will be the long weekend runs. This weekend starts with a 7 miler and the mileage increases as the weeks progress (obviously) but I’ve built in a few Saturdays/Sundays where I can choose to do a long run or I can give my body extra rest, depending on how I’m feeling. I also built in these long run off-weeks in case we take an out of town trip or the weather is crappy.

My 2009 Racing Season (first ever racing season!) looks like this:
April 26—GW Parkway 10 Miler
May 10—Pacers Running Festival Half Marathon
May 31—Annapolis Half Marathon
October 10—Baltimore Marathon (the big Kahuna!!!)

I might add some more races in there from June to October but since the heat/humidity is bad here during the summers, there aren’t that many races in this area during that time. I’ll see how I’m progressing on the marathon training…I may just focus on the full marathon after the Annapolis Half.

As far as my training plan, I pretty much made up my own. I used Hal Hidgon’s plan as a base and changed it for me. For instance, I wanted to add in the long run off weeks and add in other races in the middle of training for the full. So I essentially took his 18 week plan and made it a 28 week plan!! I modified some of the long runs to fit with the racing schedule above but kept the theme of every few weeks dropping my long run mileage. I’m excited for my first long run!! Now only if the weather would warm up a bit so it’s not 30 degrees when I’m running in the mornings.

Hmmm...still a bad blogger

2009-03-18T19:05:00.000-04:00

Well, so much for being a better blogger. I’m not going to make promises to you or myself I can’t keep…with this new job, I’m not sure how much time I’m going to have to devote to blog reading/commenting/posting. I’ve been good about not spending too much time at work on it and I’d like to keep it that way (for now at least). So please excuse me for the next few weeks if I’m not commenting or posting as much as I used to, I’m still getting adjusted to my job.

On the job front, things are going great!!! Everyone was so friendly my first day and my supervisor took me around and introduced me to every person in my branch. So even if I can’t remember specific names and faces…at least I have an idea of who I’ll be working with on a regular basis. My section or team is taking me out to lunch on Friday so we can get to know each other better.

Plus the work seems somewhat exciting (definitely more exciting than working at my old job). Not only has my direct supervisor (my section chief) been great about checking up on me and seeing if I have any questions but her supervisor (director of my branch) has also checked up on me several times. They are definitely more welcoming than my old job.

On to non-job stuff, I’ve still been getting up at 4:30 to workout. Previously, I would get up and go to the apartment gym and then later in the day run outside at lunch. With my new job, I obviously don’t want to be gone for a huge chunk of the day (for now at least) so I’ve had to combine my running/weights/ellipticalling all into my morning workout. And today, I got up at 4:30 and I ran 5 miles! I’m always scared of running in the dark but I turned my music down on my iPod and ran on the trails near our apartment which are very well lit. I saw bunnies on the trail!! They were so cute! Keep in mind that I live in a very residential, developed area but there were two bunnies sitting by the side of the trail looking like they were just watching the people go by.

I’ve been discouraged with my running lately. I think it was doing two workouts in one day…I’d be so tired by the time I did my run at lunch that I really had to push myself. This morning’s run was fantastic!! Next week I’ll start my half and full marathon training (post to come) so my exercise plan as of now is:
Monday, Friday: workout in gym (weights, elliptical)
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday: run
Saturday or Sunday: long run

But this mornings run was so great. (This is really cheesy…) In the middle of my run, I thought of how great I felt and my brain thanked my body for getting out of bed and running. It was a really cheesy moment but I felt so glad to be back out there and even though I was tired this morning, I still went and I know I feel so much better because of it.

Anyways, that’s my update for now.

Bad Blogger

2009-03-16T09:58:00.003-04:00

I've been a bad blogger lately...sporadic posting and not commenting. But I'm back to regular posting and commenting. Last week was just crazy with leaving my old job. Here's a quick update on me:

Have left old job. Friday was my last day. I'm so glad to be gone. I'd like to say my last week was fun and made me sad to leave but that would be an outright lie. My last week was horrible and reminded me why I'm leaving. I don't want to get into it too much but my boss was incredibly rude (told me on my last day that I wasn't good at my job...who does that?!) and my colleagues really couldn't have cared less that I left. Again, great reminders as to why that job made me so unhappy and how ready I was to leave.

Friday I also had to have an emergency root canal. My tooth has really been bothering me and Thursday night I couldn't sleep so I found a dentist who could see me last minute on Friday. Ended up having a root canal done and paying $1300 for it as my insurance does not cover root canals and crowns (so why do I pay $60 a month for it?!). Friday was just a horrible, horrible day and in the interest of not spreading negativity, I won't recap the entire thing but I was excited to go to sleep on Friday knowing that Saturday just had to be better.

I was supposed to start my new job today but Friday (part of the horrendous day) I got a call saying my fingerprints did not go through and that on Monday (today) I needed to go get them redone at a location an hour away on the subway. Then I could start my new job on Tuesday. So this morning I go all the way out to get my fingerprints done and I get a call as soon as I get there saying that I don't need to have my fingerprints redone...they ended up getting accepted late Friday night. I also found out that I can't take leave for today (i.e. I won't be paid for today). I am so ticked off that I have to take today as a leave without pay day...I have 90 hours of leave I could use but since I haven't started my new job, I can't take leave from that job. It is so annoying b/c it's their fault...they are the ones who wanted me start a week after offering me the job and then they don't get my fingerprints submitted to the FBI on time so I have to take a day without pay. After having a root canal done on Friday...I could really use the $175 I would have made today. And I was so looking forward to wearing the first day of new job outfit I got.

Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it. It's not under my control. I am going to talk to the HR people again tomorrow about it when I do my first day orientation/paperwork. No use expending energy on something I can't change. Instead I'm going to look at this positively...I have one more day to rest and relax before starting a more stressful job. I have one more day to rest after my root canal.

Well, I said that was going to be a quick update but it ended up not being so quick. I'm off to check up on you all. This blog will go back to running/working out/eating healthy topics tomorrow...no more drama for me.

Awesome and not so awesome

2009-03-10T10:47:00.002-04:00

Fantastic news on the new job...they are actually going to be paying me more than my current job! I went in knowing I was going to have to take a pay cut but now I'm not!! How awesome is that?!

What has not been so awesome...my eating habits. Carbs, sugar, and more carbs and sugar. I know it's nerves because of the new job and trying to wrap up my old job so I'm trying to be gentle on myself. I need to remind myself that carbs and sugar do not make my anxiety go away. Plus carbs and sugar make me breakout which causes more anxiety.

I am excited about moving on to a different job. I have been unhappy at my current job for a couple of years now and I'm thrilled about moving on to a job with actual responsibilities and a job where I'll be using my degree!! But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. And although I've been unhappy about my current job, I have been able to have a very flexible schedule and have time to do lots of blogging/Facebooking/running at work. I'm going to have give those things up (at work anyways) but the trade-off is well worth it.

I think what I have the most anxiety about is a change in schedule. I like my schedule and I like a routine. Right now, I don't know what my routine is going to look like at my new job.

Anyways, I've got to get some paperwork overnighted to my new job so they can get everything set up for my first day (just 6 days from now!). Off to FedEx I go...

Official

2009-03-05T07:59:00.003-05:00

So it's official...I have a new job!! My salary still hasn't been agreed upon but as it stands right now, it will only be a little bit less than what I'm currently making. There's still some negotiating going on and they might be able to match what I'm making now which would be awesome but either way, I have a new job!!! I am so excited to have a job where I will be busy and where I'm going to have actual real responsibilities. And since I'm tranferring between federal agencies, my last day at my current job is next Friday...which is so incredibly soon. Ack!! I'm trying not to freak out.

Generally I don't always handle change well, particularly fast changes. I keep reminding myself that I'm okay, it's going to be alright, etc. I never realized how much personal stuff I have at work until yesterday when I started packing things up...I have a lot of stuff in my office!! My goal today is to get as much of my personal stuff packed up so this weekend I can drive in and pick it up. And then the next step will be trying to figure out where all this stuff is going to go in the apartment, temporarily at least. One step at a time...

I'm so excited!!! I'm also getting really nostalgic about leaving but I know it's the right step.

Off to pack.

Breaking Radio Silence

2009-03-04T09:46:00.001-05:00

Hey, sorry I’ve been away so long. I just felt like I didn’t have anything to say for a while and just needed a bit of a break. Two big things happened while I was on my break….

Most exciting news first, I had a job interview last Friday and yesterday was offered the position. I actually did 2 interviews on Friday (same agency, same job just in two different divisions). I interviewed for the job I was there to interview for and the interviewer asked me if I was willing to do a second interview in a different division. Of course I agreed (b/c it would be stupid to not do a second interview while I was already there). Funny too b/c I was asked the same exact questions in both interviews. I left with a really good feeling that I would be offered one of the jobs (several clues doing the interviews) and then yesterday got the call offering me the position. I’m trying not to get too excited yet though b/c I have to wait on a formal salary offer. I would start out making less than what I make now (which I knew when I applied for the position) but I can’t take a significant cut in pay. They’ve assured me that they can get pretty close to what I’m making now so hopefully the formal salary offer reflects that. Otherwise, I’ll have to pass up the position.

And equally exciting but not as recent news…my sister is having a baby!! I actually knew about this a few weeks ago but kept quiet. My sister has been trying to have a baby for a few years now. She has PCOS and they’ve done several rounds of hormone shots and one round of IUI. Oddly enough, she got preggers in the month when they did nothing (well, not nothing but no hormone shots/treatments). She got pregnant the week after her and her husband came out to DC to visit so Stephen and I should be given all the credit. Not really but we are thinking of marketing a Fertility trip to DC business…wonder how much we could charge? I’m excited to be an Aunt!! I’m going to be the coolest Aunt ever! (My step sisters have kids but this is different.)

Other than that, just the everyday workout, run, work, sleep routine. I’m ready for warmer weather…I’m so tired of running in the cold and having to bundle up.

Indecisive

2009-02-20T09:30:00.004-05:00

It is so quiet at the office right now...it seems like no one is here. It's almost always quiet at the office anyways but it's even more like a library today.

I'm debating on running at lunch or not. It was windy yesterday and is windy again today...although I did go yesterday the temps were warmer so the wind wasn't so bad but today the temps are at least 15 degrees colder. (And one of two times I've gone running and regretted it was when it was windy and cold outside. But it's not as cold today as it was that day.) But the sun is shining and it would be nice to be out in the sun. Decisions, decisions. Or perhaps I'll do yoga at home...my muscles feel like they could use a nice stretch. Can you tell I can't make up my mind at all??

For an update on not counting...I'm doing pretty well. I'm still rushing through my meals at times (particularly when I eat with Stephen--he's a fast eater and I think that makes me speed up). I have found myself counting up calories in my head a few times but I make myself stop, with the exception of the healthy muffins I made last night. I added those calories up to get a rough idea of how many calories were in each muffin.

My weekend looks pretty open...we will be going to see "Confessions of a Shopaholic" at some point. We also have reservations tomorrow night at a fancy pants restaurant near our apartment that we haven't tried yet. This week is DC's Restaurant Week which means for lunch you can get a 3 course prix fix menu for $20.09/person and for dinner a 3 course menu for $35.09/person. It's a great opportunity to try some of the more expensive and famous restaurants in DC for a reasonable price. We're going to Willow. Here's the dinner menu with all my choices!! Stephen already knows what he's going to get (Ham & Bean Soup, Steak, and Toffee Pudding) but I can't decide!! I suppose it depends on what I feel like eating tomorrow night.

Hmmm, I can't decide about a lot of things, can I? Whether to run, what to eat for dinner, whether to head home early since no one's at work...

Have a great weekend!!

Questions

2009-02-19T09:44:00.011-05:00

Here is the dress that I'd like to wear on our cruise in September. It's hard to see what it looks like when it's just hanging there but it really is a fantastic dress.

To answer questions I've gotten in the comments lately...

The not weighing something new I'm trying with the not counting. I get too tied up with what those numbers are...I can feel awesome and be eating healthy, running, working out, etc. but if I step on that scale and it says I've gained or maintained my mood does a 180. And that's ridiculous...those numbers shouldn't control my moods or emotions.

Juice, I get my hair cut and colored at the Paul Mitchell School in Tysons Corner mall (lower level near Bloomingdales). It's definitely inexpensive but the stylists can be a little slow (since they're still students). Overall, though, for the price, it can't be beat!! I started going there 18 months ago when I got tired of paying $65 for a haircut and feeling like my stylist wasn't listening to me...and trust me, I tried so many different places and stylists with the same experience. If you have more questions about the Paul Mitchell school let me know...I'll be happy to answer them.

And finally, here are my interview questions and answers from Heather!! (Please ignore that some of the photos are in the wrong direction...I can't get them to flip and they're not on my camera anymore.)

Q1. You have mentioned wanting to go to grad school...what type of graduate program are you interested in and why?

I want to get my Masters in Business Administration. I've always wanted to get an advanced degree and with an MBA I could move from industry to industry easier than with a Masters in Finance or something similar.

Q2. If you were a kitchen appliance what would you be and why?

I would be a coffeemaker because I associate my coffeemaker with warming me up and perking me up...two effects I like to have on people.

Q3. If you were sent to a deserted island and could only have three things from home what would they be?

First of all, my Chapstick or Burt's Bees lip balm. I can't stand the feeling of my lips being dry so I'm constantly applying Chapstick. Secondly, books. Love em and I could be on that island for a while. Third, I'd want to bring something else comforting and homey but the practical side of me would win out and I'd take a knife or string or something more useful than a picture.

Or I could be like Dwight on "The Office" and take a hallowed out book with matches, protein bars, etc.

Q4. What would people be surprised to learn about you?

That honestly, I don't know what I want to do with my career. I'm interested in so many different things and can't decide what to pursue (hence, why being able to move around easily with an MBA would be beneficial). I think people would be surprised by this because I generally seem very determined and act like I've got a life plan in place that I'm following.

Q5. What is your favorite day of the week and why?

Saturday, because it's the weekend but it's not Sunday when you're dreading going back to work. Although, "Playing Hooky" days in the middle of the week are awesome too.

If you want to be interviewed:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

A Counting Decision

2009-02-17T09:12:00.004-05:00

First of all, I was planning on posting my answers to the interview questions Heather asked me weeks ago but something is wrong with the pictures on my thumb drive...I'll problem shoot this evening and try again tomorrow. :(

My weekend was great! Having a 3 day weekend was fantastic but I was actually contemplating staying home today...seems like the more time I get away from work, the more time I want. We saw "The International" which is a pretty good thriller movie. We're waiting until next weekend to see "Confessions of a Shopaholic"...we have two free movie tickets but we can't use the coupon the first weekend a movie opens so we decided to wait until next weekend for Shopaholic and use the free tickets coupon. We did some shopping at the outlet malls...I did get some new tops at Ann Taylor but nothing too exciting.

My debit card got a ton of use this weekend...long story short, Stephen's account was cancelled without his knowledge on Friday so he couldn't use his debit card (there was suspected fraud/ID theft). I paid for everything all weekend and we kept a tally of what he owes me. No big deal but you should have seen all the receipts! It was ridiculous!!

I also decided something monumental this weekend...I'm done counting calories/points/grams of carbs, fat, protein/all of that for now. I've spent most of the last 16 years of my life in two modes: either on a diet or off a diet. There was never a happy medium of eating healthy but still enjoying food. Mentally, I'm tired of adding up calories in my head and my relationship with food is so wacked. Some days I'm satisfied with 1400 calories but because that's below my BMR (basal metabolic rate), I'd eat more just to get to my BMR. By doing that, it's like I don't trust my body to tell me what it wants or needs. That is absurd!! I trust my body when I'm running to tell me when to stop or when to push further...my body can tell me if it's hungry or not and I should trust it!

This is something I've been thinking about for a while as I've continued to count calories and yet my weight has stayed exactly the same. Emotionally and mentally, I can't keep counting calories to stay in the exact same spot...that is a lot of wasted time and energy. I don't know if I'll lose weight not counting or if I'll gain but I've got to get back to a better place with food. Food isn't a punishment and it's not a reward but I've been using it as both...healthy foods are a punishment when I'm on my diet and not so healthy foods are a reward when I'm off my diet. And when I'm on my diet, I feel like I should eat certain foods and not eat other foods. But when I'm off my diet, I take that opportunity to eat anything and everything in sight. I'm tired of this see-saw way of looking at food.

Here's what I'm doing (which I'll call my guidelines as rules sound way too harsh):
1) No counting. I can look at calorie counts just for informational purposes only. Example: a new product just for an idea of it is healthy.
2) Listen to my hunger cues. If I'm hungry, eat. If I'm not hungry, don't eat.
3) Similarly, stop eating when I'm full. This means slowing down and evaluating fullness at different points during the meal.
4) Eat what my body is craving. If I want chocolate, eat chocolate but make sure it's the good dark kind. If I want squash, eat squash (and, yes, I've actually had cravings for squash before).
5) Keep an eye on portion sizes. This may mean measuring out cereal and weighing meat.

So far, this has been so freeing. It's like all this room in my head that I was using to add up calories is now free to learn other information!! Also, I'm not weighing myself anymore. I'll know if I lose weight...my clothes will get baggier, I don't need to know to the tenths of a pound what my weight is.

There are sure to be some mis-steps along the way but I feel so much happier already...I've got tears in my eyes, I'm so happy to enjoy food again. Plus, not talking about calories and food frees up my blog to talk about working out and running more...which are the more positive and uplifting experiences for me anyways.

Conferences and Cruises

2009-02-13T10:42:00.003-05:00

I thought I was going to drop kick the person in charge of the conference yesterday (the same conference where I sat at the registration table all day). She is one of those high strung, super stressed out about any thing types of people and I just could not handle her. I've been in charge of conferences before and my thinking is that something is probably going to go wrong but to just try and epitomize "grace under pressure." This woman was the complete opposite. Just one example of her behavior...due to our media team/webcasting team's request, all of the PowerPoint presentations needed to be put together into one long presentation (which was one of my responsibilities). This conference was two days so all of the presentations for the two days were together in one presentation. She comes up to me with one of the media team guys and says, "You two need to get together and find where today's PowerPoints are. They aren't on the computer and I don't know what you did with them."

The guy (whose name I know but cannot remember) and I go into the conference center, open the PowerPoint presentation (with all the presentations together), scroll down, and lo and behold, there's that day's PowerPoints...she didn't scroll down to even see if that day's PowerPoints were there. And of course she doesn't apologize for her outburst earlier implying that I had messed up. So frustrating.

I'm thinking in my head, "If you're going to yell at someone and accuse them of messing up something in front of other people, you sure as heck better be in the right instead of an idiot who didn't scroll down."

Gah, it was like that all day long. It's a bad sign when at 8:30 in the morning, you're counting down to when you can have a glass of wine.

Anyways, on to happier things...

Stephen and I are taking an Alaskan cruise in September!!!! I am so so so so excited!!

We paid our deposit, purchased our airfare, and reserved hotel rooms for the nights before and after the cruise. It is going to be so much fun!! It gives us something to look forward to all summer since we won't be going to the cabin in Canada this year (long story about Stephen's family).

Plus the cruise gives me a deadline for shaping up. I have this dress that I bought for my cousin's wedding three years ago and it would be the perfect dress to wear for the formal nights on the cruise. But since I've bought it, I've gained 15 lbs and the dress won't zip up anymore. My goal is to lose the extra weight so that the dress fits me in time for the cruise which is completely do-able b/c the cruise is 7 months away. I'll have to take a picture of the dress this weekend.

Alrighty...I have a nice 3 day weekend that I'm looking forward to. Hopefully, I can convince Stephen to see Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Pictures, pictures, pictures

2009-02-12T08:01:00.010-05:00

In leiu of a lengthy word filled post since I've got to sit at the registration desk for a conference today, I'm giving you a picture filled post...I know, don't be too shocked since I rarely have pictures.

So here's my office:

And here's a close up of my OSU bulletin board:
Here's a new hat I bought this weekend...It's actually a men's hat but it looks good on plus it's somewhat trendy since it's a fedora style:

Here's a close up of the pattern...I need a navy blue scarf to match and of course all the stores don't have any winter clothes now...why am I always looking for items when they're out of season?

Here's my new purse (also picked up this weekend)...Filene's Basement was having a going out of business sale so I got this great purse originally priced at $65 for $17!! The leather is like buttah...super soft and plenty of room for all my weekday stuff but small enough to be carried on the weekend.

Now here's a scarf my mom made me...I just got it in the mail two days ago but it's awesome (and my mom is awesome)! She did a very cool design and it's all twisted and stuff (I have no idea how to describe it).

And, finally, here's me with my new hair color (only 2 shades darker)...please ignore my chin area...every few months my time of the month is bad with breakouts, mood swings, and cramps and that happened to be this month. And, man, do I look exhausted or what? Ah well, I'm getting up early to work out so I think the trade off is worth it.

I disagree Jillian.

2009-02-10T08:47:00.002-05:00

One day last week I was listening to an old Jillian Michaels podcast from November 2, 2008 while running at lunch. I like listening to Jillian's podcasts sometimes when I'm running...sometimes all my music bores me and I want to hear something different. Plus I typically find listening to her no-nonsense approach to be inspiring and motivating. This time was different.

She started bashing marathon running. I literally stopped in my tracks. I continued to listen because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt but she did not redeem herself, in my opinion. She quoted several studies that showed that after running a marathon, there are increased levels of toxins in the body and that running a distance of 26.2 miles puts a significant strain on the heart. And then she ended with this, "Don't run a marathon. Don't train for one. It's bad for your body." (some paraphrasing here because I don't remember the exact words). I was pissed to say the least.

I've read the studies she quoted. Yes, it's true that there are increased levels of toxins in the body and (no shit Sherlock) running 26.2 miles puts a strain on the heart. However, there was a great article published by Runner's World last year that delves further into those studies and shows that individuals who die after running a marathon (like last year's Chicago or during the Olympic trials) have some prior heart defect. The RW's article also talks about training correctly and understanding your own physical limitations (which Jillian did not mention).

Instead Jillian's suggestions were to train to climb a mountain or train for some long bike event. She does say that you can run races but to make sure they're short distances. I understand that Jillian is entitled to her own opinions and quite honestly I wouldn't listen to someone about running who doesn't enjoy it (as she's stated numerous times).

What irked me was this sense of nonacceptance about running. She may think it's crazy and she would never do it but she shouldn't discourage other people from doing something they love. Yes, there's a risk involved but there's risk involved in everything we do. Training to climb a mountain...I could fall to my death. Biking a long distance...I could tumble head over handlebars. Getting on the Metro...I could fall off the platform and be hit by a train. Running a marathon...I may have a heart attack.

Personally, I'm not interested in climbing a mountain but I'm not going to go out and tell someone who's doing that that they shouldn't...everybody has the things that work for them. Mine is running, Jillian's is obviously not running.

Jillian is usually "Kicking ass and taking names" and I felt that her advice against marathon running went so against who she is. She's not the type to feed into a fear of doing something because you may be hurt but yet, that's what she was advising.

Anyways, as you can tell, I was really ticked off after listening to that podcast. Feel free to ignore me if you disagree or argue back! I'm trying to articulate my points but I don't know that my points are getting across.

Stay tuned the rest of the week...I've got some exciting stuff coming up including posts with pictures (!!!) and an interview with the gorgeous Heather!

Weekend Highlights

2009-02-09T09:07:00.001-05:00

The weather was beautiful this weekend. We went for a bike ride yesterday and it felt so good to be outside in the sun. The temps were in the high 50s-low 60s…amazing! There were lots of other people out enjoying the weather as well. When the weather gets warmer for the spring/summer (instead of the freakishly warm for February weather now) I’d like to ride my bike to work a few days a week so we basically followed the path I would follow into work and it was about 10 miles. I’ve got to check into getting a bike locker here at work to store my bike during the day.

Stephen and I went to see “He’s Just Not That IntoYou” which we both thought was a pretty good movie. There is a part about the ending that I didn’t like but don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone. After the movie, Stephen actually said, “That movie was really good for a chick flick.” Which is probably the biggest compliment that a guy could give a movie like that.

My hair cut and color was okay…the color I love. Going two shades darker on my hair makes my eyes stand out more and looks more dramatic. The actual process wasn’t too great though. The girl fixing my hair was so rough with my head, I had a headache afterwards. And that’s saying something because I like for them to be a little rough…it typically feels really good. But this person was way too rough. Plus they are supposed to do a 5 minute head massage when they shampoo your hair but the last two times they haven’t. L Oh well, it was only $37 for a cut and color compared to the $100+ it would have been at a real salon.

The weather is supposed to be fantastic all week long…sunny and temps in the 50s. I’m so excited to go running today and the rest of the week!!! Should be wonderful!

Thursday's Things to Love

2009-02-05T08:20:00.003-05:00

1. My sister got some fantastic news this week. I can't reveal more but I'm sending her lots of positive vibes and sending lots of prayers to the big guy in the sky.
2. When I come home from work and the first thing I see is a huge smile from Stephen and hear an enthusiastic "Hey Stinky!". (Don't ask about the nickname...it's a long story)
3. The great country CDs my sister made for me. I love listening to them at work...it's a bunch of old songs we grew up listening to and they put me in such a great mood!!
4. I'm getting a hair cut and color tomorrow. Just a trim and the color will only be a couple of shades darker than my natural color but I haven't had someone else color my hair in years and they always do a 5 minute head massage when they shampoo your hair...feels soooo good!!
5. Even though it's freaking cold outside, I'm in such a great mood (which has a lot to do with #1).

And, just for fun, I'll post my "25 things about me" thing that's going around on Facebook:

1. I get claustrophobic when I’m around a lot of people. If the Metro’s super crowded or I’m at an event where there are lots of people packed into a space, I get anxious.
2. After 3 years of freezing at work, I recently bought a space heater. One of the best investments I have ever made! Space heaters are prohibited so I hide mine every day when I leave work.
3. I broke one of my dad’s plows when I was around 11 or 12 and never told him. He told me not to turn too tightly or the outside disk would break off but after several hours of going around a field in a circle, I turned too tight and the outside disk broke off. I hid the broken disk on the edge of the field and when my dad said something to me about the missing disk, I acted like I didn’t know what he was talking about. (I’m not a very good liar so he probably knew I broke it but I’ve never confessed to the crime.)
4.My favorite fruits are bananas for everyday and fresh pineapple for special occasions.
5.I stuck my sister in the fridge when we were little. At first, it was an experiment to see if the light went off when the door was shut and later, she liked being in the fridge so much I would put her in there. (She claims she went into the fridge unwillingly and that I forced her but I don’t remember it that way…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)
6. I love to read. It’s not unusual for me to read at least one book a week. I stick mainly to fiction with a little nonfiction thrown in. Right now, I’m reading “The Boleyn Inheritance” on the Metro and “Pompeii” at night before going to sleep.
7.I created my own library around age 10. I made labels for the spines of the books, check out cards for the back, and dreamed about digging a hole in my bedroom floor to create a reading pit like the one at the Anadarko Library. I forced my sister to come and check out books so I would have customers.
8.My favorite books of all time are the Little House on the Prairie books. Every few years I’ll go back and reread the series.
9.My favorite flowers are tulips and daisies.
10.My grandma and I write each other letters every week. It’s a way for us to stay connected and there’s something cathartic about putting pen to paper.
11.I am an early morning person. I like getting up early and having things accomplished before most people are out of bed. But after 3 pm, my brain stops functioning efficiently.
12.I believe in God/a higher power but am extremely discouraged by organized religion. Nothing makes me more upset than people arguing over doctrine when they could spend that time and energy actually helping people.
13.I have always wanted to go sky diving.
14.I love to run and will run at least one full marathon and one half marathon this year.
15.I worked at Braum’s for 4 years and when I first started they had these old registers where each ice cream flavor had its own number. (So when working the drive-thru you don’t have to try to remember 5 different cars’ worth of ice cream flavors…the flavors show up on the order screen.) Chocolate chip was 17, Chocolate chip cookie dough was 20, and Rocky Road was 35. Yeah, I was a drive-thru rock star!
16.My favorite zoo animal is an elephant. They’re so funny looking but incredibly intelligent.
17.My favorite color changes nearly everyday. Some days it’s purple, some days it’s pink, sometimes it’s red.
18.I went to school at Bryn Mawr College (a small, all-girls school in Pennsylvania) for one year before finishing at OSU.
19.I have a weird thing about words—words that have more vowels than consonants are “good” words and I like those words. I started doing this when I was younger because I was bored and now I do it without even thinking about it.
20.Similarly to #19, I have a thing about numbers. I like numbers that are divisible by both 2 and 3 (and, by definition, are divisible by 6). Again, started when I was younger and now it’s automatic. There are all these rules I have about adding or multiplying multi digit numbers together to get a number divisible by 2 and 3.
21.I won a “Clean Office” award at work two years ago and since then have purposefully kept my office dirtier and messier.
22.The greatest present I ever received was a Barbie doll house my mom made. The premade plastic houses were too expensive and the Barbie dolls couldn’t even stand up all the way inside the house so she made me one with cardboard boxes, leftover carpet and wallpaper, and lots of love. Best present EVER!
23.I love office supplies. When we get a new shipment in at work, I’m the first in the supply closet picking out new pens and folders even though I use the same pen everyday and only need a new folder once a year.
24.I have a very Oklahoma State themed office and it annoys me to no end when someone comes in and says, “Oh, you went to Ohio State.” Um, no, you idiot. Can’t you see the orange and black and the Cowboys?
25.I have always wanted to be on the show Supermarket Sweep. My sister and I used to strategize about what we would grab during the Big Sweep and how we would win. Alas, the show is no longer on TV. And now that I'm on a budget, I'd love to go into a supermarket and throw the most expensive stuff in my cart. “The next time you’re at the counter and you hear the beep, think of all the fun you could have on Supermarket Sweep.”

Identity

2009-02-04T08:33:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a mental health day for me. I woke up at 4:30 to go workout like usual and just did not have the mental or emotional energy to go to a job that gives me nothing back (I get paid, obviously, but never feel like I've accomplished anything or that my work is appreciated). So I went back to bed and stayed home. Watched the last two episodes of Biggest Loser on Video On Demand, had a great talk with my mom on the phone, went to Trader Joe's and Target to browse, read some of my book, and watched Gilmore Girls (I got the first season as a birthday present from my parents). Very much needed personal time.

I've been struggling lately with creating an identity for myself outside of work. It's why I've been working out so much...I need to show myself that I am successful despite what my boss said in my performance review. I've been reading a book called "Quarterlife Crisis" which is about this rather recent phenomenon of mid-20 people who struggle with finding their careers and determining the direction of their life. I'm finding it very helpful and reassuring that I'm not the only one floundering around a bit.

Anyways, yesterday I was really thinking about my identity. My job isn't who I am, it's only what I do. I come from a family where most everyone is passionate about their jobs and loves what they do for a living. But I think there's a lot of luck involved with ending up in a job you love. For my family, their jobs are a significant part of their identities. It's hard for me to think of a job as just a job, just a way to pay the bills because I spend 40 hours a week at work. But that's what this job is...I'm emotionally and mentally distancing myself from this place. It's the only way I can hold on to my sanity.

I'm working on creating an identity for myself outside of work. I'm not good at compartmentalizing and all the areas of my life just blend together (which some of that is to be expected). I'm learning how to separate work from my happiness in other areas.

And to end on an exercise/food front (since this is that type of blog), I tried the Shred level one Monday morning. I didn't make it too far...I just finished with an hour on the elliptical. My energy was zapped. I need to do the Shred first or on its own.

You know you're an adult when...

2009-02-02T09:29:00.004-05:00

Your bed isn't from IKEA and you have a matching bedding set.

We've been wanting to get a new bed for several months and we went looking this weekend. Our original plan was to look this weekend and buy next weekend but we found a bed at 25% of the original price...obviously, we took advantage. Our new mattress and box spring was delivered on Saturday. I sleep so well on our new bed!! It's amazing!! First of all, our old bed was a full and this is a queen...even though it's only a few more inches, those inches make all the difference. Secondly, our new bed has a very nice plush top which forms to my back and really helps.

We ordered the bedding last week (we knew we were going to get a queen and we found a bedding set we both liked). Here's our bedding set:

It wasn't my absolute favorite bedding set but it's masculine enough for Stephen and it's neutral enough to serve us for a long time. And the island theme goes well with all of the Puerto Rico pics we have up in our bedroom.

Just like most people, we watched the Super Bowl last night. Well, we watched part of it...I kind of wanted Arizona to win just because they were such underdogs. We started a pot of chili yesterday morning before we left for errands. We tried a recipe for Chili with Chipotle and Chocolate instead of our usual recipe. Verdict: It was good...not the best chili but definitely has different flavors than the usual. And the Super Bowl ads were so disappointing...there wasn't a single one I thought was even close to funny.

Stephen had a hair cut appointment yesterday afternoon at the mall so while he was getting handsomer I got to go play at Sephora!! I love going in there and playing with makeup...of course Stephen hates it so I enjoyed the opportunity of him being entertained. I ended up with some new nail polish (new top coat, new pink and white for french manis/pedis) and a chocolate brown color. Of course, I painted my nails last night with the brown. Only in the last year have I gotten in to painting my nails anything besides clear or pale pink. I have a deep purple and a navy that I really like for my fingernails along with more vibrant pinks and reds for my toesies. Anyhoo, I really like the brown. It's not as dark as navy and it's more unexpected than black. I also picked up a new lip gloss that's a deep purple, new eyeshadow, and bubble bath.

I don't have any close girl friends (besides my sis) and since I work with a bunch of guys and live with a guy, I've been feeling not so girly lately. (I've also gotten lazy with my appearance at work...work for 3 years in a place where people wear shorts and flip flops and it starts to rub off on you.) I feel better about myself when I look professional (plus you should always dress for the job you want, not the job you have) and when I spend extra time on my hair and makeup. Playing at Sephora made me feel so girly!!

Random question: Anyone else freaked out by mannequins? The ones that aren't pink or blue don't have any heads. I was noticing yesterday at the mall all the weird mannequins out there. They are so creepy!!

2009-01-28T10:17:00.002-05:00

Blah...no snow day. Annoying.

Now to be positive, I had a great victory last night. Stephen wanted to go out to eat for dinner. We almost never go out to eat during the week but he'd been thinking about it all day so out we went. He was wanting a hamburger so we went to bar/brewery type restaurant. Stephen wanted to share an appetizer so we got a cheese dip thing (was supposed to be spinach cheese dip but it was pretty much just a cheese dip) with chips and flatbread to share. It wasn't a huge appetizer at all but after we finished eating it and were going to order our entrees, I realized I wasn't hungry at all. I already had picked out what I wanted to eat but when the waitress came by I didn't order anything. And when Stephen got his food, I ate 3 or 4 croutons off his salad but that was it. No bite of his burger and he even offered to give me half but I just wasn't hungry. Normally I would have ordered something on my own or eaten half of his burger but I'm really trying to listen to my body lately and it was saying that it wasn't hungry. And I didn't get hungry later on in the evening. I did eat a small peanut butter cookie from a batch I was making for work but that was b/c I felt the need for something sweet before going to bed.

I've noticed since I started doing my early morning workouts that during the mornings I'm much hungrier than I am at night. So I've been having a substantial breakfast (with my pre-workout granola bar, close to 600 calories), a 10 am snack (around 200 cals), a substantial lunch (400-500 calories) and then at dinner I've only been eating around 300 calories simply because I'm not that hungry. I also usually have something sweet a couple of hours after dinner for around 200 calories. This seems to be working really well for me. I don't like feeling stuffed when I go to sleep and since I'm burning more calories in the morning (by workouts or running or both) it makes sense to fuel my body the most during those hours. Anyway, just an observation.

It's Snowing!!

2009-01-27T08:14:00.002-05:00

Yep, it's snowing in DC! We've had a few flurries so far this season but this is the first snowfall that is actually sticking to the ground. It's so pretty!! Tonight it's supposed to change to ice/freezing rain so we might get a snow day tomorrow (fingers crossed). If it's just snowing at lunch then I'm going to head out for a run...I love running when it's snowing. It feels like I'm in a snowglobe...love it!!

Enough with the gushing about snow (I'm sure you Canadians think I'm nuts to be so excited over snow)...I did a yoga exercise from our video on demand service this morning. Um, I'm not flexible at all!! All the flexibility I used to have from doing yoga 5 years ago is completely gone. Definitely something to keep working on. The exercise I did was just a 10 minute Morning Yoga routine so it was a lot of good stretching and nothing too strenous. I liked the instructor too. I have a yoga DVD with Denise Austin and I do not like the way she instructs...she tells you what to do after she's already started doing it and then I feel behind. I like it when you get the instructions slightly before the instructor starts doing the moves so you know what's next. Anyways, this morning's yoga was perfect after my time on the elliptical. I still want to do the Shred this week and right now have it planned for Thursday morning but if we have a snow day tomorrow I might do it then.

Well, I'm tired today (Stephen kept getting up during the night which in turn wakes me up) so I think an extra cup of coffee is in order. Off to walk in the snow to Starbucks!! I might even go a little crazy and put some sugar free vanilla syrup into my black coffee to celebrate the snow. Madness I tell ya, absolute madness.

A screen filled weekend

2009-01-26T09:19:00.003-05:00

We watched a lot of TV and movies this weekend. Stephen was sick and didn't feel like doing anything (totally understandable) so I rented us a few movies and we watched Netflix. Since Friday morning, here's what we watched:

Rentals

Rambo--lots of gore, my least favorite of everything

The Cleaner--pretty good, Stephen was not a fan

August--dumb, neither one of us liked it

Bangkok Dangerous--pretty good, my favorite of the 4 rentals

Netflix

4 episodes of JAG: Season 1

3 episodes of Las Vegas: Season 2

Movie Theatre

Gran Torino--good. In the beginning I didn't think I was going to like it but it is a good movie. Not as good as Slumdog Millionaire which is my absolute favorite so far this year. But Gran Torino is excellent.

TV--lots of random shows and movies...nothing too exciting.

Stephen and I were both so sick of watching a screen that last night we read for an hour instead of watching TV like we usually do. Of course, working out was nonexistent this weekend and my eating wasn't good but that's changing today.

I found out that since we now have digital cable, there are free exercise videos on demand. They even have the Jillian Micheals 30 day Shred that everyone's raving about. I hope to try out Shred and a few of the yoga ones later in the week.

Anyways, that was my boring and uneventful weekend. Hopefully, it's the last sick weekend we have this winter. Off to catch up on ya'lls more exciting weekends...

Smorgasbord

2009-01-23T12:10:00.002-05:00

Whew! It's been a while. To catch you up on what I've been doing...last weekend was Stephen and my birthdays celebration. We had a great time being out of town for a couple of days and enjoyed eating at one of our favorite restaurants, Firebirds. On my birthday (Sunday) we ordered breakfast room service (I have always wanted to eat breakfast room service and now I have!), sat in the hot tub and just took our time getting ready and driving back to DC. Traffic was not bad at all...which was a pleasant surprise!

Monday and Tuesday we had off as federal holidays so we hung out. We weren't too productive but it was nice to be able to relax. We actually didn't even watch any of the inauguration stuff...I'm sure Obama is going to be a good president but living in DC for 3 years and hearing about politics 24/7 has made me so apathetic. And I'm sick of people thinking he's going to be a great president because he's black. It is wonderful that we have a president who is not a white male but just because he's black doesn't mean he'll be a good president. I'm waiting to see what he actually accomplishes before calling him a success. Anyways, I get annoyed when fitness/weight loss bloggers get all political so I'll stop there.

Wednesday and Thursday were work as usual. Definitely nothing exciting there. Oh, wait there was something exciting...I got a space heater for my office and let me tell you, it is wonderful!! I'm careful to turn it off and hide it before I leave everyday (since space heaters are prohibited). It is amazing to be able to be at work and not be covered up in blankets, sweaters and scarves!! I love it very much and wish I had been a rule breaker earlier!

Now to today...Stephen's sick (again). He woke up in the middle of the night throwing up and was up about every hour after that. When he wasn't throwing up, I was lying awake waiting for him to start again. I am exhausted. And I'm sure he's even more exhausted. So I stayed home with him today since he couldn't even sit up for two minutes without getting sick...there's no way he could take care of himself. I picked up some movies for him to watch and some soup and Gatorade. He just had the flu 2 weeks ago and here we are again. No idea what's wrong...we've both had flu shots but we're throwing away all of our peanut butter and PB items just in case they're part of the salmonella scare...we checked and they're not but after this second round of stomach stuff, we're just being cautious.

Well, Stephen thinks he keep some food down now so I'm going to make him lunch, scrub our apartment down with bleach to kill those nasty germs, and wash the sheets/bedding.

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Oh, and I'm loving Jen and Cat's fashion and beauty posts!! Even more reason to love Fridays!!

Finally Friday!

2009-01-16T09:34:00.002-05:00

So glad its Friday!! And the Friday before a 4 day weekend (living in DC, federal employees get inauguration day off as well as MLK day)!! DC is going to be nuts this weekend. Stephen and I are headed out of town for Saturday and Sunday...its our birthdays (his last weekend, mine this weekend) celebration. Other than that, we have no big plans besides not driving or riding the Metro on inauguration day.

I went for a run yesterday at lunch...let me tell you, there have been few times when I've regretted going for a run and yesterday was one of them. The temperature itself wasn't so bad but the wind was horrendous. I did about 4 miles and called it good. I'm not going today since it's even colder but next week the temps are supposed to be back up to around 30 degrees. I did go to the gym this morning so missing my run isn't a big deal. Plus with all the prep for inauguration going on, the area where I run is going to be filled with barricades and people and vehicles getting ready for Tuesday.

I did it!

2009-01-15T10:38:00.003-05:00

I did it! I ran at lunch yesterday!! However, for the first time since we've lived at our current apartment, I did not get up to workout this morning. I've been incredibly tired this week and needed the extra hour and a half of sleep. I am going to run at lunch again today (and it's even colder than yesterday) and I may try to make it the gym this afternoon/evening to get in some time on the elliptical.

We're having a cookie party tomorrow for someone's last day at work so I'll make a deal with myself that I can only have a cookie tomorrow if I do both my lunchtime run and a 30 minute workout this evening. Alright, it's a deal.

Speaking of cold weather running, I got to open my birthday present from Stephen last week even though my birthday isn't until this Sunday. He wanted me to go ahead and open it so if it was the wrong size we could send it back to exchange. He got me this North Face vest to wear when I'm running! I got the blue color. It's fantastic!! I love how it's got lots of pockets to stash my phone, ID, jelly beans (for long runs), and other stuff in it!! And it fits perfectly! I wanted a vest to wear when running and I would have never spent that kind of money on one for myself so I'm glad Stephen got it for me! So exciting! I've asked for some other running stuff from sister so I hope she listens and gets me the things I've asked for...both her and my mom like to get me knick-knack type stuff and I have nowhere to put that stuff and I'd rather have something I can actually use than something that's going to gather dust.

Interview

2009-01-14T09:39:00.002-05:00

My interview went well. They've already contacted me again and asked if they can check my references and speak with my supervisor so that's a good sign. Honestly though, I'm not crazy about the job. It's a LOT of programming and programming is the thing I hate the most about my current job. Even though I'm not sure I would even accept the job if it was offered (jumping way ahead), I'm going to go ahead and tell them that they may contact my references/supervisor. Who knows what things are going to be like at my current job in a few weeks and I don't want to close the door on a possible job yet (even if it's a job I'm not crazy about). I need to keep my options open right now.

Other than that, it is soo cold here. I AM still going for a run today at lunch (I have to keep telling myself that...I chickened out on Monday). I also need to get a space heater for my office. They're forbidden but it's ridiculously cold in my office...I stay bundled up in one or two thick sweaters and a scarf, sit as curled up as possible, and wrap a thick blanket around my legs every day just to feel like I can function enough to get something done. And that is ridiculous! So I'm going to be a rule-breaker and get a space heater this weekend. I'm done with purple fingernails and goose bumps all day long.

I AM going to run at lunch. I AM going to run at lunch. I AM going to run at lunch. (Just reminding myself!!)

What I did on my 3 day weekend...

2009-01-12T09:06:00.002-05:00

Hey lovely ladies!! How are your Mondays going? Mine's going okay...I've only been at work for an hour so it's hard to say what the day will hold but so far looks relatively easy.

Friday was my AWS day. I still woke up at 5 when Stephen got up and did some budgeting/bill paying/Swiffering before heading to the gym around 7. Then I ran several errands--pharmacy, grocery store, Target for Stephen's birthday present. We were predicted to get several inches of ice/snow on Saturday so Stephen left work early and we went to Costco to get a few staples. Then we came home and hung out for the rest of the evening.

Saturday we ran a couple of errands in the morning and then Stephen met up with some friends to watch a Georgetown basketball game and the Ravens/Titans playoff game. While he was gone I headed to the grocery store and then went for a longer-ish run. My marathon training doesn't start until January 19 but I still wanted to get in a longer run over the weekend. I headed out around 1:30 and the snow/ice/rain was predicted to start around 2:30 or so but it was still just a 50% chance. This was my first time running over by our new apartment and there's lots of bike trails near where we live...I was excited to get to try them out and see where they went!!

Papa mia (my stepdad who's more than a stepdad to me but I still don't feel right calling him Dad so I call him Papa mia) was coming into DC on Saturday for a conference. So he was texting me when he got into the airport and to his hotel. Anyways, he got in earlier than expected so I turned around earlier than I was planning but I'm so glad I did!! I headed back to the apartment and 10 minutes later it started sleeting!! And then 15 minutes later it changed to rain. The sleet I didn't mind so much b/c it rolled off my clothes but the rain soaked in. Anyhoo so I finished my run and was cold, sweaty, and in desperate need of a shower but I felt like such a badass out running when it was sleeting and raining.

After a nice toasty shower, I met up with papa mia and Stephen and we went to dinner. Sunday morning we came into DC to drop a case of Gatorade off at Stephen's office. Sunday was Stephen's birthday so I gave him his present ("We Are Marshall" DVD plus some coupons for back rubs/head rubs). Then we hung out at the apartment until papa mia was done with his meetings and we ate at La Tasca for Stephen's birthday dinner.

Even though it was a 3 day weekend, it felt really busy and I still have a list of stuff I didn't get done. Cannot wait until the 4 day weekend we have coming up!! (We have Martin Luther King Jr Day off as well as Inaguaration Day.)

Well I'm off to prep for my rescheduled interview tomorrow morning...I probably won't post tomorrow b/c I'm taking the whole day off. Once I'm done with my interview I'll be hanging out with papa mia before he leaves on Wednesday morning.

Rescheduled

2009-01-08T08:52:00.003-05:00

I got a call this morning at 6:45 AM asking to reschedule my interview for today until next Tuesday. A person on the interview team is sick. Honestly, it didn't really affect me too much. I'm not nervous about the interview...I usually get nervous/anxious about 15 minutes before. Plus I feel like I did so many interviews last year for business school that I know my stuff really well. The only thing that slightly upset me about rescheduling was that I took off my pretty deep purple nail polish last night for the interview but no big deal.

Yesterday I did get to go for a run!! Woohoo!! I noticed on weather.com that it was supposed to stop raining for an hour and a half around 11:30 so I took full advantage and headed out. It wasn't the best run ever (I had to walk 1/2 because I couldn't breathe well...stuffed up head) but I did it and it felt good. I'm glad I went when I did because 5 minutes after I got back, it poured outside for a few hours. God heard my lament about clouds yesterday because for about 2 seconds when I was running, the sun peeked out and I just had to smile!!

Thursday's Things to Love:
1) Sun!! It's out today and I love it!! I already feel more energetic and pumped.
2) "Cold Case" on TNT at 4 and 5 in the morning. I get engrossed in an episode when I'm doing my cardio in the mornings and it makes the time fly!! I've always really liked that show anyways so I'm glad it's on so early. Today I was so involved in the episode that when my elliptical time was up at 5:45, I hurried upstairs to do my stretching in the apartment while watching the end so I could find out what happened.
3) Stephen got me a birthday present!! We usually don't do birthday presents for each other b/c our birthdays are one week apart...we just take a weekend trip and that's our present to each other. But because I was so disappointed in Christmas this year Stephen got me a present anyways. Awww! His birthday is on Sunday so I plan on getting him something small but birthdays aren't a big deal for him.

Rainy Weather Makes Me Grumpy

2009-01-07T08:50:00.002-05:00

I am so freakin' tired of the rain and gloomy, dreary weather we've had for the last month. This girl needs her sunshine and blue skies to feel happy. And I desperately want to run but when it's pouring, running is a no-go. Grrr...I'm so mad at the weather right now. My body needs some Vitamin D. I can deal with cloudy skies because I can still run but rain I cannot deal with because it means no running and that makes me so sad. :(

Enough of being Miss Grumpy Grumperson about the weather. On to happier topics...like the workouts I can actually do. For my morning workouts I have been doing two strength days (15 minutes of cardio to warm up since it's 4:30 in the morning and 30 minutes of weights) and the remainder of the days as just 60 minutes of cardio (switched up between machines). Strength training is the one thing I really have to push myself to do...I'm a cardio girl through and through. I know that with my running at lunch (if the stupid freakin' weather would cooperate) I could do strength training every morning because I'm getting in the cardio by running; but for weights I do mostly upper body except for two or three exercises for my legs. I don't want to do anymore weights on my legs because I know that will make me sore and then my running will suffer. I am working in more sprints and hills while running than I was before and doing more resistance/inclines on the cardio machines to strengthen my legs.

Today's Plan:
Activity: 60 minutes cardio in apartment gym, 5.5 mile run at lunch (weather.com is showing light rain/drizzle for 10am-noon and I NEED to run so if it's not raining too hard I'm going)
Pre-Workout Snack: Cereal bar
Breakfast: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup milk, sprinkle of sugar and 2 tsp. cocoa powder (inspired by Lynn's yummy chocolate oatmeal), 1 Tbsp chocolate peanut butter, 15g slivered almonds
Snack: 1 cup milk, 1 Sugar Free Carnation Instant Breakfast packet, bar of some kind out of my snack drawer
Lunch: vegetable soup, Whole Grain goldfish, spinach and tomatoe salad with Italian dressing, baggie of veggies (carrots, peppers, cukes)
Snack: 100 cals worth of popcorn, 1 apple, 1 Emergen-C packet
Dinner: supposed to be pork chops, veggies, rice but I'm feeling like soup again (Chicken Noodle this time)
Dessert: Cinnamon Dolce biscotti and tea

Two A Days

2009-01-06T09:01:00.002-05:00

It sure is hard to get back into the routine of waking up early when you're used to sleeping in a bit but it feels nice to have lots of things checked off today's to-do list before 9 am!!

I've been doing 2-a-day workouts for a couple of weeks now. I'm not training super hard for anything or doing it to increase my calorie burn. I'm doing it because I enjoy it (crazy I know!!). It started because I want to utilize the gym in my building but don't want to stop running. I could do a routine where I alternate running outside at lunch with using the gym in the mornings but I really crave routine and schedules. I decided (for now anyways) to get up in the mornings and use the gym and then run at lunch. This has worked fantastic so far because we've had rainy, yucky weather lately and I'm not always guaranteed a lunchtime run. Then I don't have to try and squeeze something in during the evening if I don't get to run at lunch since I've already worked out that morning.

I've increased my calories on days that I do 2-a-days. The first week I tried to do 2 workouts a day but keep my calories around 1600 and not surprisingly, that didn't work at all!! I was way too hungry. I've now increased my calories to 2000 on the days I do 2 workouts a day reasoning that I burn 400 calories a workout and don't want my body to go into starvation mode. So far this seems to be working much better.

Anyhoo, Stephen's feeling much better. Still home sick today but I think he's planning on going into work tomorrow. He's almost back to 100%. And I hope I don't get whatever he had.

Well, ladies, I've got a job interview (!!!--first one in 9 months of applying) on Thursday so I've got to do some prep. Good thing is with all the school interviews I just did a few months ago, I feel really prepared already.

Welcome 2009!

2009-01-05T13:43:00.002-05:00

Sorry to be so cryptic on my last post...things are better now and I'm feeling much more positive about life in general. It's hard to be upbeat when you despise your workplace. But I can at least make an effort and continue to search for other jobs rather than wallowing in self-pity.

My sister and her hubs were here last week for a few days. We had a lot of fun catching up and seeing some DC sights they hadn't seen. They even took us out for cheesecake one night to celebrate my birthday (which isn't for a few more weeks)! The only bad thing about the trip...Stephen has the flu or some kind of bug now. My sis was around my littlest niece (who has been really sick with the flu) and so we think she brought the bug with her but Stephen might have gotten it somewhere else. Anyways, not so important how Stephen got it. Saturday after we took my sis and bro-in-law to the airport, Stephen slept for several hours. Then yesterday he pretty much stayed in bed all day. Which says a lot about how sick he's feeling b/c even if he's sick, he's still usually up and moving around but yesterday he just laid down all day.

Enough with the sick talk...let's talk about Christmas and New Year's. The two most exciting Christmas presents I got this year were a pair of slippers that feel like heaven (seriously love, love, love them!!) and the Nike + iPod sports kit. You might remember that my MP3 player died a couple of weeks before my half...my sister was getting an iPhone from her hubs for Christmas so she brought me her previously loved iPod to use since she has no use for it now. My mom got me the sports kit (which I knew I was getting b/c I specifically asked for it but I was not any less excited). I tested the kit & iPod out today on my first run of 2009 and I love it!! I've been running with my HRM and I could estimate my pace or distance, depending on what my running plan was for that specific run. But with the kit, it gives me all of that info right there on the iPod screen. So cool!! It will really be beneficial when I start my marathon training in a few weeks since I'm one of those runners that just runs wherever I feel like going...I don't map out a path before leaving. Plus I'd like to work on being faster and having my pace easily accessible will keep me from having a brain explosion trying to do math while running.

Now time for my 2009 Plans. I have an entire page (most are a continuation of things I'm already doing) broken up into different areas of my life which I won't bore you with but I want to share some that are relevant to this blog:

Running
Finish a marathon--on the calendar for April 26, start training on January 19
Complete another half with time < 2:30
Run other local races (10Ks, etc.)

Strength
Two 30 minute strength workouts a week

Flexibility
Stretch after each workout
Practice yoga or Pilates once a week

Relationship with myself
Continue with stopping negative self-talk

The last one I'd like to talk a little bit more about...a few months ago I started listening to the things my little voice was saying to me and I was so saddened. They were horrible and cruel!! Things I would never, ever say to anyone and here I was saying them to myself. Why was I talking to myself like that?? No wonder I felt emotionally abused so much...I was abusing myself.

Not to get too deep but I remember hearing my mom talk about herself in such a negative way growing up plus not having the most emotionally supportive childhood...this self talk was a product of those situations. I don't know if I'll ever have children but if I do have a daughter I don't want her to have the relationship I've had with my body and body image.

So I decided that day I was no longer speaking to myself that way...anything my little voice said to me had to be something that I would want my daughter to hear. I broke up with the negative little voice and have met a wonderful replacement, a positive little voice. I've caught the little voice being negative and unencouraging a few times but I stop and think, "Would I want my daughter to hear me say these things about myself?" And every single time the answer's been no. It's still an ongoing process but I have to love and respect myself and my body. I don't know why I thought it was okay to hate my body...if it were another person saying these things to me, I wouldn't stick around and take the abuse so I don't know why I did it to myself but I do know I'm making a change.

Also, I don't know why thinking about a daughter I don't (and my never) have works for me but I suspect it's b/c of hearing my mom talk about herself so negatively for so long (she still does it all the time) and realizing the impact that it's had on me.

MIA

2008-12-29T07:45:00.002-05:00

My sister's coming into town for a few days and I'm sorting through some relationship/career decisions right now so I'm going to be MIA for at least the next week. I'd like to tell you all about what's going on in my head but there are some cards I need to play close to the chest for the moment. My Christmas was, quite frankly, one of the worst I've ever had. Nothing horrible happened but there was nothing special about Christmas this year. I'll be back soon. ~Marissa

Feelin' better

2008-12-18T08:03:00.004-05:00

So much better today. Yesterday was just one of those Jonah days to quote Anne Shirley and yep, I watched that yesterday afternoon. Best purchase ever, by the way.

Thanks for the encouragement yesterday. I always have an emotional breakdown around the holidays and yesterday I was tired which never helps. After going home and chilling out, I felt so much better. It's been so long since I've chillaxed like that and I forgot how much I need to do that from time to time.

Dam of Tears

2008-12-17T08:24:00.002-05:00

Glad I make sense to you guys even when I don't make sense to myself!! Lol.

I'm having a tough day girls. I'm missing my family a lot right now. Even though my sister is coming out in just 13 days, I'm having a hard time getting excited about Christmas since I won't be with my family. Stephen and I don't buy gifts for each other so I'll have nothing to unwrap but it's not just the presents, it's the not being there. Last Christmas we weren't there since we went to South Dakota to see Stephen's mom. I haven't gone back for Thanksgiving in a few years (mainly because I don't get the Friday after off and flying around then is even worse than flying around Christmas). We decided this year to not go anywhere for Christmas and just do our own thing which will be nice but I can't help wishing I was with my family.

This time of year is always hard for me because it's when I miss my grandpa the most. Holidays were always so much fun when grandpa was alive...he was always smiling and laughing. I think what I miss the most isn't necessarily holidays with the family but holidays with the family when grandpa was alive.

I'm trying to just look forward to seeing my sis and be excited about that but it hit me this morning how homesick I am to see my family. And it doesn't help that the weather has been gloomy and rainy the last two days and is supposed to stay that way for several more.

As soon as I started typing this post, I started crying. I've been doing so well at holding back these emotions but once I put the tiny hole in the dam, the water just came pouring out...and I even spent extra time doing my eye liner and shadow this morning.

It's obvious I need a mental health day so I'm going to leave work (after only being here an hour), go home and maybe go to a movie that Stephen doesn't want to see or get a mani/pedi or hang out at home watching Anne of Green Gables...just do something for myself today.

I know this has nothing to do with exercise or weight loss but one thing I know is that mental and emotional health is just as important as physical health.

More new apartment love!

2008-12-16T08:51:00.002-05:00

After the half marathon was over, I started going to the gym in our apartment in the mornings instead of coming to work super early. At our old apartment, Stephen and I had to go to the Metro together (since we had to drive) and coordinate leaving times in the evenings. Since our new apartment is only 2 blocks from the Metro, we can have our individual schedules much easier. Anyways, I've been going to the gym in the mornings and then getting ready for work at home...Stephen gets up at 5 and goes straight to the gym at his work since he likes that gym better. I am enjoying this schedule so much more than the schedule at the old apartment. I like it because I can get ready for work at home and enjoy my breakfast and do dishes, laundry, picking up, etc. in the morning. At the old apartment, we would get up and change and be out the door in 15 minutes. I would get to work, have a small snack, head out and run, shower and get ready for work at work in the locker room, and then have my breakfast at my desk.

Now I eat my breakfast more leisurely plus I've been able to have things like toast and eggs...when I would eat breakfast at work I pretty much ate oatmeal every day because we only have a microwave in the kitchenette. And I can drink my coffee at home instead of trying to drink it out of a travel cup on the Metro. This time in the morning when it's just me getting ready for the day has quickly become "my" time. Stephen's not there so I can listen to whatever music I want while getting ready. I can take time fixing my hair and doing my makeup and not feel like I should be at my desk. I can get dishes done or laundry folded instead of waiting until the evening. I really feel like this time in the morning helps center me and I feel less frazzled or stressed throughout the day.

Utilizing the gym in the morning has another pleasant perk...since I don't like running on a treadmill, I've had a few days where I've gotten in two workouts...one in the morning in the gym and a run midday while at work. Since it's cooler outside and I've been doing shorter distances after the half, I've been able to get away with not showering after my run and just re-deodorizing and spraying some body spray. Not sure how this will work when I'm actually sweaty and need a shower but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Anyhoo, I'm really excited by this change in my schedule!! Don't know that it's very interesting to hear about but I was so excited by it this morning I just had to share!!

Also, my apologies if this post doesn't make much sense...I'm not feeling too awake yet (its the cloudy weather) and formulating understandable thoughts has been difficult...time for some more coffee or tea!

Errands, errands, errands!

2008-12-15T08:37:00.002-05:00

Did I even have a weekend? Geez, we had a lot of errands to run this weekend...moving one weekend and then going on a trip the next weekend leaves a lot of errand-running for the 3rd weekend. Saturday we headed to the outlet mall for Xmas presents and Costco to stock up on meat...while stopped in the left turning lane I got rear ended by a high school girl not paying attention. It just dented my fender but I was still pissed b/c this is my 2nd accident in 8 months and neither one was my fault at all. We were all okay but now I have to find the time to take my vehicle to get an estimate on the damage. Pain in the rear.

After that ordeal, we went to the mall and Costco. I was looking for a movie for my sis's Xmas present at Costco and found the "Anne of Green Gables" trilogy on DVD for my own Xmas present!! It was $25 less than anywhere else I've seen it, including online. Ahhh, I love those movies!!!

Sunday we ran more errands, grocery store and the Container Store this time. Yesterday afternoon we spent putting together a new office chair and organizing our closet better...well, I organized my side better, I needed shoe racks and dividers...Stephen's had his side organized since we moved. I also made our Christmas cards (we only have 10 people we send cards to) and got presents ready to be mailed. I'm just waiting on some pictures to be printed (which I should be able to pick up today) and then I'll make my trek to the post office to mail cards and presents.

While we were in Vegas, my sister and her husband decided to come to DC for New Year's!!! I've been missing my family a lot lately and we're not going anywhere for Christmas so it's perfect. The 4 of us (me, Stephen, Ash, and Elliott) are going to have our own Christmas celebration on New Year's day so I bought stockings for them. We were just going to get both of them gift cards but since they'll be here we're doing gift cards and something to actually open. I still have to get a few more stocking stuffers (for them and Stephen's). I'm so excited to see my sis!!! I miss her so much!! She's had a rough couple of months...they did IUI right before Thanksgiving and she found out a week ago that it didn't work. Now they have to wait so many weeks before trying again. So they decided to plan a trip to DC to give themselves something to look forward to!!

I'm so chatty today...I still have things I want to talk about but this is already long enough and I should do some work now.

Long Overdue Marathon Recap

2008-12-11T10:27:00.002-05:00

This is not my favorite picture at all but Delete Happy Stephen deleted my favorite picture of me after finishing the half.

I was so incredibly nervous the morning of the half. During the night, I woke up every hour or half hour to check the clock and make sure I hadn't overslept. I woke up at 4:30, changed into my running clothes, and headed downstairs to Starbucks for oatmeal and coffee. We were staying at the Luxor and while there are 3 Starbucks there, only one is open before 8 am. The Luxor was also one of the marathon hotels...there was a massive line of at least 30 people. I realized that by the time I got my coffee and oatmeal I would have no time to digest it before the race started so I went back upstairs to the room and had an instant oatmeal packet with peanut butter and coffee made with hot tap water and a coffee bag. (Whenever we travel I always take a few instant oatmeal packets, travel containers of peanut butter, and coffee bags just in case.) While it wasn't the best oatmeal or coffee, it did give me the fuel and energy I needed.

The race was starting from behind Mandalay Bay (which is right next to the Luxor). Stephen walked with me part of the way to the start line (there was a lot of congestion closer to the start line so he went back to the room). He was trying to talk to me and ask me questions but I was so nervous I was nearly in tears...just typing about how nervous I was makes me almost cry still! I made it to the starting line about 10 minutes before the race started. There weren't any pace markers (signs saying "10 minute mile", etc where the participants group themselves according to pace) which I found to be odd so I tried to stay towards the back. When the marathon started fireworks went off for about 10 minutes.

I knew that at the beginning of the race there would be a lot of congestion so I decided the day before to run a few miles without any walk breaks just so I didn't have anyone slam into the back of me. Once I started running I felt really good so I told myself I would run without stopping until the half way point and after that I could do my 4:1's if I wanted to. At Mile 5 I grabbed water and at mile 6 I walked for about 30 seconds so I could text Stephen and let him know where I was. At the halfway point, I was still feeling good so I kept on running. Mile 7--more water. Close to Mile 8 I started feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom. It wasn't urgent but it really hurts to run when you have to pee so I stopped and used the port-a-potty...waiting in line, etc. took 8 minutes. At Mile 9 I grabbed Gatorade. When I hit Mile 10 I really started to feel fatigued so I started doing 4:1's until Mile 12. I took a short walk break (~1 minute) somewhere between Miles 12 and 13. After that break, I ran the rest of the way. Near the finish line, there were lots of people cheering and I almost cried again. Once I saw the finish line, I just ran as fast as I could. Stephen had sent me a text saying that he was near the finish line so I looked and looked for him as I was running but never saw him and he never saw me finish which he was really upset about.

In the finishing corral, I grabbed my medal, couple of bottles of water, a Gatorade, and 2 cookies. Then I tried to find Stephen...finally we met up and he took some pictures of me with my medal. We headed back to the room. I left Stephen at the Sports Book at Mandalay Bay and I went to take a shower. After showering I met up with Stephen and we watched some Sunday football. About 2 hours after being there, I was extremely tired so we went back to the room and I slept for an hour or so and woke up feeling fantastic. My legs were sore the next day but only when I had been sitting for a while.

I can't wait to do it again!! I'm deciding which race I want to do next and what length. I'm so addicted now!!

Official Stats
Chip Time--2:48:08
Clock Time--2:54:19
Overall--5895/11256
Gender--3171/5842
Division (Females 24-29)--548/940
Age Grade--80.5%
*The "out of" number includes both marathon and half marathon participants. There isn't information about how I did compared to just half marathon participants.

Also, does anyone know what the "Age Grade" means? I've googled it with no luck.

I haven't gone on a run since the half but I've been getting up early to use the elliptical. I planned on running today at lunch but it's pouring outside and tomorrow doesn't look much better.

Finished!

2008-12-08T14:15:00.002-05:00

I'll write a longer post later this week but I just wanted to let you all know that I finished the half marathon yesterday morning with an official time of 2:48:08!! My whole goal was to finish but I placed myself at finishing around 3 hours so I'm happy that it was 2:48!! Anyways, I'll write a more detailed recap later this week along with some pictures of Las Vegas but I wanted to let you all know!!!

Moving and Las Vegas

2008-12-03T07:26:00.002-05:00

Hey beautiful peeps! We got moved over the weekend and can I just tell you how much I LOVE our new apartment. Having an actual bedroom is awesome!! The washer and dryer is fantastic!! And, one of the best parts, my commute to and from work is only 40 minutes one way compared to the 65 minutes it used to be!!! Awesomeness!!

Tomorrow we leave for Vegas!! (It's an exciting two weeks in MarissaLand.) I didn't get to do my final long run this past weekend...the one day I had free from moving obligations or waiting for cable/internet people was Sunday and it poured all day. But I've got 4 runs of 10+ miles under my belt so I'm not too worried. This morning I started thinking about how slow I am and how long it's going to take me. (This thought process started when I had a dream last night that I was being chased by several people who wanted to hurt/kill me and I was too slow when I was running.) I made the decision to stop thinking like that...who cares how long it takes me? I'm running 13 miles for gosh sake...I can go as slow as I want. I don't have a time goal...my entire goal is to finish the race. I have to stop being so hard on myself and realize how much of a rockstar I am for having the courage to do this. I'll start running at 6 am Las Vegas time on Sunday so if you think of it, send me some encouraging and uplifting vibes.

Alright, well I've got some work stuff that has to be done before I leave today. I'm behind on all of your blogs and probably won't catch up until after Las Vegas. :( I'll "talk" to ya'll in about a week!

A Colossal Post

2008-11-25T07:28:00.002-05:00

To tell you a bit more about my unexpected performance evaluation...

Just as a bit of background, the last two years I've received an "outstanding" rating and my boss has never said anything negative about my work. It's always, "you're doing great, keep up the good work", pat on the back type thing. I've been promoted both years and have received a bonus each time. Last Thursday when I went into his office, I was completely blindsided. I received a "commendable" rating and was told that I wasn't going to be promoted (~$10,000 more per year) but that I was still going to receive a bonus. My written evaluation, which goes into my permanent personnel file, was full of negative comments (I take too long to do projects, I'm not engaged in my work, I don't communicate).

So I took the weekend and came up with what I wanted done. My biggest concern was that this is my last performance evaluation at my current job since I'm on the last year of my contract and it's full of negative things. So there's no way I can show improvement and have it documented. Also, my boss said that he's received these comments about my work in the past two years but he just now brought it up. Why wouldn't he bring up these concerns earlier in my job instead of waiting for the last year??

Anyways, I could go on and on about how wrong I thought the evaluation was...not just the way it was handled but also the negative comments that were said. The one that is the most odd to me is the "I don't communicate" comment because just last year the remark on my evaluation was that "I'm excellent at communication."

So I spoke to my boss yesterday (which is huge deal for me b/c I hate confrontation but knew if I didn't stand up for myself no one else would and I didn't have anything to lose) and told him my concerns and he agreed to take the negative comments out of my written evaluation with the understanding that those were things I need to work on. I could've argued with him about that but I'm somewhat satisfied with the more positive written evaluation. I've got a whole laundry list of complaints regarding this organization to air on my final day when I do my exit interview. And I'll be honest, I take everything my boss said in the performance evaluation with a huge grain of salt. Technically, he's my boss but he has no idea what I do day to day and the only time we speak is for my performance evaluation. He has to rely on what others tell him to even come up with the evaluation.

Just a reminder of how much I need to find a different job. I'm still pissed about the way my evaluation went but I'm using that as fuel to find a different job.

As soon as I had taken care of that yesterday afternoon, I got pulled into an argument between my sister and dad. So I've got to call my dad this evening and (stand up for myself again) tell him to leave me out of it since he's the one that pulled me into it and now is mad at me b/c I won't make my sister do something. Lovely. Family and the holidays don't mix well sometimes.

In happier news (yes! please!), I ran 10 miles this weekend! I was scheduled to do 12 but it was a very cold and windy day so I was satisfied with 10. Oh, but something sad did happen...my MP3 player died at mile 8. It's gone...completely worn out. It won't even turn on or anything now. So I've got to complete my last couple of weeks of training without tunes but it's not as hard as I thought it would be. The budget's tight right now since we're moving into a new place (on Thursday!!) so I can't just run out and buy a new one but I should be able to do something around Christmas. I'm thinking the iPhone...my contract on my phone is up and the iPhone would be fantastic to have when I'm running b/c I could have my tunes but also have my phone with me in case something happened. Thoughts??

Well, this is long enough (whew!) so I'll be quiet now.

Something Quick

2008-11-21T09:57:00.003-05:00

I'm working from home today...I had a very rough day at work yesterday. Everything was going well until my performace evaluation in the afternoon. I was blindsided with the fact that I'm not getting promoted or getting a raise...I had been led to believe that I was going to get both. I was (and am) extremely upset so I'm taking the weekend to gather my thoughts and then I'm going in to see my boss on Monday. There are several discrepancies between this year's evaluation and the last two years' and I have a lot of questions and concerns about some things that could be going into my permanent personnel file. I'll talk more about it Monday but right now I"m upset and I'm trying not to focus too much on it.

Thursday's Things to Love

2008-11-20T11:55:00.002-05:00

1) This is my 200th post!!

2) plus3network.com: Sara posted about this the other day but it's a fantastic site!! Essentially, your workouts raise money for different causes. Awesome!

3) Quantum of Solace. We went to see it yesterday afternoon. I love me some Daniel Craig! Stephen almost made me change seats so I wasn't sitting next to him because apparently, I kept sighing when Bond was on the screen. But the movie itself is really good...both Stephen and I liked it. We snuck in a bottle of wine (with a screwtop) and the movie wasn't crowded at all.

4) Taylor Swift's new album, Fearless. Her songs are very girly but I love them.

5) The Body Shop's Body Butter. My skin gets so dry in the winter and this is the only thing that keeps it feeling soft plus they smell amazing!

6) Running...but you guys already knew that!!

No menu today...I've got a weird attitude towards food right now (nothing sounds good at all).

"In Training" for Life

2008-11-18T10:55:00.004-05:00

I'm so excited! I got my "In Training for Las Vegas Marathon" tshirt yesterday!! Of course, I had to go for a run this morning proudly wearing my shirt!! I'm such a dork but I'm so excited by this shirt...it makes it even more official!! Stephen was trying to talk me into giving the shirt to him (b/c it is a bit too big for me) but there's no way I'm doing that...this shirt means too much to me. For years I thought that there was no way I could be a runner...I weigh too much, I'm not in shape, parts of my body jiggle when I run, blah, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't one event that changed my mind but at some point I told that voice in the back of my head to shut the hell up, I started running and look at me now...I'm training for my first ever race. Awww, I'm tearing up right now. It's just a stupid shirt to everyone else but to me it's a symbol of how far I've come over conquering all the negative things I used to (and occasionally still) say to myself.

I wore that shirt with pride this morning. I may be slower than other runners but I got out there this morning when it was 25 degrees F and ran. There were parts when my sore legs were not happy but I finished with a smile, a clear head, and an absolute sense of pride about what I can accomplish when I just try.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."~John Bingham

Today's Plan:
Activity: 5.5 mile run
PreRun: Odwalla Super Protein Bar
Breakfast: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/6 cup raisins, 1 banana, 1 1/2 tbsp PB
Lunch: I brought 1/2 turkey and hummus sammie and broccoli but I'm not really feeling it so I might grab Subway or something else
Snacks (if needed): popcorn, orange
Dinner: Homemade creamy tomato soup, grilled cheese, salad

The bad and the good

2008-11-17T09:37:00.002-05:00

My weekend was bad and good. Friday started off well enough (including yoga and weights) but Friday evening ended badly. I don't want to share too much about it (I'm still working it all out in my head) but suffice it to say, Stephen said something I felt was extremely hurtful and unsupportive but he thinks he was just being honest. He told me that he doesn't think I should try to run a full marathon (after my half is over in December) when I weigh 190 lbs. He thinks it would be too hard on my joints, especially the knees. I took it as him saying that he didn't believe in me which led to me crying in the restaurant where we were having this conversation. I understand what he was trying to say...I don't think running a full marathon weighing 190 lbs is a great idea either but I'm not waiting around until I lose weight to do something. It really brought back all these emotions of when I was younger and my dad would doubt everything I did or put me down. I understand having doubts about someone's abilities but you shouldn't always say what you're thinking. Just because you think something (whether it's true or not) doesn't mean it needs to come out of your mouth.

Friday night I didn't sleep well at all but Saturday morning I still managed to spend some time at the gym. Then Saturday we did some more running around and spent some time talking about Friday evening's conversation. He apologized and we're better now...I don't know that I've forgiven him 100% yet but I'm still working it out in my head and trying to separate what Stephen said from what my dad used to do.

But on to the good part...I ran 11 miles yesterday!! Woohoo!! It took me two hours and 35 minutes (for a blistering 13:40 minute mile pace). This time I remembered my fuel belt and had 10 oz of water, 10 oz of G2 and jelly beans with me. I used the jelly beans about half way through and drank the water and G2 whenever I felt like I needed it. The bottom of my feet were extremely sore last night...I got up to go to the bathroom around 2 in the morning and it felt like I was walking on needles. But this morning they don't hurt anymore. My thighs are a little sore but it's mainly when I've been sitting for a while so I've been trying to remember to get up from my desk and walk or stretch every hour. I'm going to do about an hour long walk today just to keep the blood circulating in my legs.

Today's Plan:
Activity: 1 hour walk at lunch
Breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/3 cup cranberries, 1 banana, 1 tbsp PB
Lunch: 3 cups spaghetti squash with 1 cup spaghetti sauce, 1 Rachel's yogurt
Snacks (if needed): popcorn, orange
Dinner: Sun Dried Tomato Burgers, Roasted Potatoes, Green beans

It's been so long!

2008-11-13T10:46:00.002-05:00

Wow...it's been so long since I've posted!! The conference went really well and ran smoothly. I was told by a couple of people that it was the smoothest-running conference they'd ever been to. Then Tuesday was a holiday so I used some comp hours on Monday and had a 4 day weekend! We didn't really do anything too exciting though...just watched some DVDs and went shopping. My working out/eating was not so good but I'm working on making that better. My half is in 24 days and I need to be properly fueled and trained!!

Well, I've got an after action report to write about the conference so I should get that done and over with!

Today's Plan:
Activity: 3 mile run, 2.5 mile walk this morning
Pre-Workout: 2 tbsp creamer in coffee, Clif bar
Breakfast: 1 cup egg beaters with green peppers, 1 banana
Lunch: Turkey and hummus sandwich, baggie of veggies, yogurt with pomengranate seeds, another banana
Dinner: leftovers--me thinks cheese quesadilla, salad, rice and beans

Sunday Catch Up

2008-11-02T13:30:00.003-05:00

Sorry all for not blogging and commenting much last week...I have a conference I'm in charge of at work this week so things were slightly crazy.

I did a 10 mile run yesterday. It was rough. Last week's 9 miles was fantastic but this week's 10 miles were just rough. I forgot my fuel belt at work so I had no water and no jelly beans (for a quick sugar rush mid-run)...not good. But I did 10 miles and today I'm not sore at all so that's good. I also did not sleep well at all the night before so I know that has something to do with how I felt during the run. I'm going to the apartment gym here in a bit to do the elliptical and some lifting.

Stephen's gone this weekend and I have slept horribly while he's gone. Usually I do just fine because I like having the extra bed room but this time it's been horrible. I wake up every hour or so and turn the TV on then the TV wakes me up...anyways it's been rough sleeping. I'm glad he's coming home tonight just so I can sleep!

My eating also hasn't been great and I know it's because I haven't been sleeping well. But I've got a big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup on the stove for lunches this week and I'm going to make good choices for the rest of the day. Don't know how much I'll be able to blog/comment this week with the conference on Thursday and Friday so have a great week everyone!!

Workout Bust

2008-10-28T08:53:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was a bit of a workout bust. It started raining in the middle of the day (which ruled out my lunchtime run) and got very chilly outside. Once I was off work all I wanted to do was take a warm bubble bath, snuggle up in my sweats with a nice bowl of something warm and a glass of wine. So I did precisely that once I got home. I did do about 15 minutes of dancing around the apartment just for fun though.

Today I've got a 5 mile run planned. I was going to do it this morning (as I've been doing lately) but it was still raining and chilly outside. I can do either rain or chilly temps but not both. I'm heading out in about an hour to do my run since it's stopped raining and the temps are a few degrees warmer.

Stephen comes home from California tonight. He's scheduled to arrive around 10 pm and I'll pick him up at the airport. Then he has Wednesday and Thursday here in DC and on Friday he leaves with a friend to go to a football game at Western Kentucky, he'll come back on Sunday. I'm so looking forward to having a weekend by myself!! No big plans besides a 10 mile run and working out and lounging around in my sweats all weekend if I want!! I've got a stack of magazines pretty high that I'm looking forward to reading.

Today's Plan:
Activity: 5 mile run
Breakfast: 1 Odwalla Berry bar, 1 banana, 1 oatmeal raisin bread bar (homemade)
Lunch: Hummus and spinach sandwich on whole wheat, butternut squash soup
Snack: 2 clementines
Dinner: no idea...I don't have anything thawed out but it's just me

9 miler

2008-10-27T08:48:00.003-04:00

It seems like the weekends just fly by so quickly!! Friday morning I did a 9 mile run (I was scheduled for an 8 mile run this weekend but there was a chance of rain both Saturday and Sunday so I decided to do my long run on Friday). 9 miles!!! That is the longest distance I have ever ran!!!! Friday I still felt really good but Saturday I was tired and hungry most of the day. I did take a two hour nap on Saturday afternoon and that helped tremendously! Saturday I did some free weights at home and Sunday I did the elliptical and machine weights at the gym while Stephen worked. We didn't really do too much this weekend...Stephen leaves today for a quick trip to California to do a presentation, he'll be back tomorrow night, so he was getting ready for his trip.

Sunday the Marine Corps Marathon was going on in downtown DC and seeing some of the runners got me all excited for my half in December. I already can't wait to do the half and then start training for a full marathon!! Who would have ever thought that I would be so excited to run 26 miles?? Crazy.

Well, I have to get the program for this conference sent to the printers today and I don't feel like being at work so I'm going to get this program done and possibly go home early.

Today's Plan:
Activity: Mix of cardio at the gym this evening (elliptical, stairmaster, bike) and possibly a short run at lunch today--today's one of my cross training days but I also feel like running but now I feel like yoga too so I'll do something, I just don't know what
Breakfast: oatmeal with flax, raisins, banana, brown sugar, and peanut butter
Lunch: yogurt, carrot sticks, 2 clementines, bean soup, Arnold Sandwich Thins
Snack: 3 Cafe Mini Twists from Trader Joe's
Dinner: Stephen's out of town so it'll be shrimp and veggies with whole wheat pasta

Pumpkin Pictures

2008-10-23T08:43:00.003-04:00

I keep forgetting to post these...here's the pics of the two pumpkins I carved for Halloween this year.

Quickie

2008-10-23T07:38:00.002-04:00

Just a quick post today as I've got a lot of stuff going on...

I didn't do so well eating yesterday. Stephen and I had a bit of a tiff plus I'm really frustrated with myself right now so 3 glasses of wine later, I ate some cookies. (And I've been so good about not eating them lately). Oh well, not a big deal. I'm moving on.
I did a 3.5 mile run yesterday and I'm scheduled for a 5.5 miler today but I think I'm going to do some strength training and yoga instead...my legs feel really stiff lately. I plan on doing my 5.5 miler tomorrow. I know I need to listen to my body so that I don't get injured, particularly as I'm increasing my mileage during my training.
More and more I'm really really frustrated at my job. I have to keep telling myself, "I'm smarter than this job, I'm smarter than this job." I know it sounds arrogant but really a trained monkey could do my job and I AM smarter than my job. I'm not being challenged mentally at all. And anytime I try to do something a little more creative or "outside the box" it gets shut down immediately. I know I need to find something else but with the current economy there aren't many options right now.

Talk to you girls later!

Chili Recipe

2008-10-22T10:11:00.002-04:00

Sorry the link didn't work. Here's the chili recipe:

Beef, Black Bean, and Chorizo Chili
Yield
10 servings (serving size: about 1 cup chili)
Ingredients
2 links Spanish chorizo sausage (about 6 1/2 ounces), thinly sliced
1 1/2 pounds beef stew meat
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 (7-ounce) can chipotle chiles in adobo sauce
3 tablespoons tomato paste
2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 cup dry red wine
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
2 (14-ounce) cans less-sodium beef broth
1 (28-ounce) can whole tomatoes, undrained and chopped
2 tablespoons masa harina
2 (15-ounce) cans pinto beans, rinsed and drained
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
Preparation
Heat a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add chorizo to pan; sauté 3 minutes or until browned. Remove chorizo from pan. Add half of beef to pan; sauté 5 minutes or until browned. Remove beef from pan. Repeat procedure with remaining beef. Add onion and garlic to pan; sauté 3 minutes.
Remove 4 chipotle chiles from can, and chop. Reserve remaining chiles and sauce for another use. Add chorizo, beef, chopped chiles, tomato paste, and next 6 ingredients (through ground cumin) to pan, and cook for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Stir in red wine, lime juice, beef broth, and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally.
Gradually stir in masa harina. Add pinto beans and black beans; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 30 minutes.

I don't do all the above steps...I just add everything to the crock pot and let it cook all day on low heat.

Nutritional Information
Calories:
325 (30% from fat)
Fat:
11g (sat 3.8g,mono 4.7g,poly 1g)
Protein:
25g
Carbohydrate:
31.4g
Fiber:
8.4g
Cholesterol:
53mg
Iron:
4.7mg
Sodium:
898mg
Calcium:
104mg

Chili Love

2008-10-21T10:23:00.002-04:00

I don't understand why the air conditioning is going here at work when it's 40 degrees outside?? That's absolutely ridiculous.

Anyways, I didn't do my yoga or strength exercises yesterday. In addition to fixing last night's dinner, we're having chili tonight so I got everything chopped up and measured out last night. I put everything in the crock pot so all I had to do this morning was take the crock pot pot out of the fridge and put in the crock pot cooker thing and turn it on. As much as I don't like cold weather, I love chilis and soups. We've been looking forward to this chili for months now...it's really really good!

I've already done my 5.5 mile run this morning and although it's chilly outside, that makes me run a little faster but it also means my legs don't feel as loose. Oh, I got a question yesterday about my pace...it's slow. My average is 12-13 minute miles. I don't know what my pace is for my running portions or for my walking portions of my 4:1's. Since I run outside and just have a heart rate monitor (no fancy Garmin for me although if Santa brought me one this year, I wouldn't complain), it's hard for me to know. I probably walk at a pace of 3.5-3.8 miles per hour and doing some math that would leave my running pace between 4.9-5.3 mph (11 and 12.5 minute miles). Hope that helps.

Today's Plan:
Activity: 5.5 mile run
Pre Run Energy: 1 Odwalla Trail Mix bar
Breakfast: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1 banana, 1 Tbsp PB
Lunch: Leftover Frittata, yogurt, 2 clementines, 1 Cranberry Blueberry whole grain bagel (Pepperidge Farm)
Snack: 100 cal pack of Chips Ahoy Candy Bites or 1 serving Honey Graham Bears
Dinner: 1 serving Chorizo, Beef, and Black Bean Chili, 1 whole grain corn bread muffin, 1 glass red wine, corn on the cob, tomato and cucumber salad

Exciting News!

2008-10-20T09:55:00.002-04:00

Whew, I can't believe it's been almost a week since I blogged. I had something I wanted to blog about on Thursday but since I was out Wednesday with a migraine, I was actually busy at work on Thursday (I think I've mentioned it before but in two weeks we have a conference that I'm responsible for). It's still a topic that I want to blog about so I'll do it later this week.

Now for some big news....Stephen and I found a new apartment this weekend!!! Our lease is up at our current place at the end of November and neither one of us really likes where we currently live so I did a bunch of research online and in person starting a few months ago. We came up with a list of about 20 places and then picked our top 5. I eliminated two of the places off the list because they weren't going to have an apartment in our price range available around the first of December. Then on Saturday we went and looked at the remaining 3, went to lunch and made a decision about where we wanted to live. I am so excited!! It's a one bedroom (yea for two separate rooms!!), with a washer and dryer (yea for not having to haul laundry somewhere else!!). The gym in the building is open 24 hours a day so I can go before work (the gym where we currently live doesn't open until 7 am). Plus we are only 1/2 a block from the Metro...where we live now is about a mile from the Metro. There's lots of restaurants within walking distance and the grocery store is only a few blocks away. Our vehicles will be parked in a garage so during the winter we won't have to scrape off ice and snow! It's going to be more money every month but it's well worth it since it's more convenient. The people that live in our new area are similar to Stephen and I (young professionals who work in DC) compared with where we live now which is a lot of illegal activity (I think this anyways, but when no one in an apartment ever goes to work and there's other people knocking on the door at all hours, it's suspicious).

On Sunday I got in a 7 mile training run. I did my standard 4:1 (four minutes running, 1 minute walking). It was chilly out yesterday morning but once I got started, I didn't notice the weather too much. I did have some bathroom issues during my run but that's all I'm going to say about that. Those 7 miles completely tired me out...I took a 30-45 minute nap while Stephen was watching football and was asleep by 8:30 last night!

Oh, and funny story, there were two races/events going on yesterday in Downtown DC. One was a 10K for some policeman charity thing and the other was a breast cancer walk. At some point during my run, I must have gotten on the route that the breast cancer walk was on because as I was running past a group of people they started cheering for me and clapping. And of course I had on my pink fleece yesterday so I looked like I could have been doing the breast cancer walk. It was nice though to hear some cheering while I was running...now when I think about it, it makes me laugh.

Today's Plan:
Activity: No running, rest day after long run--walk at lunch, yoga and arm weights at home
Pre Breakfast Snack: 1/2 banana with 1 Tbsp PB
Breakfast: 1/3 cup oatmeal with remaining 1/2 banana, 2 Tbsp flax and made with 2/3 cup skim milk
Lunch: Whole Wheat wrap with hummus, spinach, and pepper strips, 2 clementines, 1 carrot, baggie of grape tomatoes, 1 yoplait light
Snack: 100 cal pack of Chips Ahoy Candy Bites
Dinner: Frittata made with Egg Beaters and spinach, toast, salad

Gettin' it out...

2008-10-15T09:20:00.002-04:00

The last couple of weeks I've been feeling really down. I know it's not my depression but I think it's coming from my current job situation. In one way I like my job because I don't usually have anything to do so I can pretty much do whatever I want during the day...for example, yesterday I read a book. Granted I do have a conference coming up in November that I'm responsible for but that takes maybe an hour of my time everyday. And while it's nice to have all this time to do whatever I want, it would be more beneficial for me to actually have something to do. I have to feel like I've been productive at the end of the day and for the past year I haven't felt that way at all. I feel like I'm wasting a chunk of my life. This frustration has spilled over into other parts of my life...I haven't been making good decisions financially or eating wise for the past 2 weeks. It doesn't help that Stephen is sooo busy at work when I literally have nothing to do.

I know that I have to find another job but with the economy right now, there are not a lot of companies hiring. Even the government doesn't have very many job opportunities. But I have to keep trying.

Sorry for the rant...I just needed to write out my thoughts to get them out of my head. I'm home today...I woke up with a massive headache this morning, it hurt to blink my eyes. Sometimes being a grown up sucks!

Weekend WrapUp

2008-10-14T10:13:00.002-04:00

Why is it that 3 day weekends just make me want a longer weekend? You'd think I'd appreciate my 3 days off but instead I'm wishing I wasn't at work. Oh well...

So Friday night Stephen worked until almost 8 (poor guy is sooo swamped at work). I drove into DC, picked him up, and then we headed out to eat at Macaroni Grill. I was extremely tired on Friday so instead of a walk or ellipticalling I did 10 minutes of arm weights at home while watching the Food Network. Saturday Stephen got up and went to work while I went to the apartment gym where I did 30 minutes on the stairmaster and 30 minutes on the elliptical. Then we went to an outlet mall and did some browsing around. And then we watched OU lose to Texas!!! (OU is OSU's big rival so I was happy that they lost.) And, it gets even better, OSU beat Missouri!!! Woohoo!! Missouri was ranked #3 and we were ranked #17 but we played very well and won!! Of course, the game was on late and we were so excited after the game that it took us a couple of hours to wind down. And now OSU is ranked #8! Way to go Cowboys!!

Sunday we did some apple and pumpkin picking and also went to one of the wineries close to the orchard for a wine tasting. We got 2 giant pumpkins...one of which I got carved last night and the other I plan on carving tonight. We didn't get very many apples b/c last year we got way too many.

Monday we came into DC so Stephen could work and I was going to do the 6 mile run I had scheduled for the weekend but traffic was horrible!! All the streets close to the World Bank and the White House were closed off (the International Monetary Fund was meeting at the World Bank and the G7 was meeting at the White House). So Stephen dropped off some stuff at work and we headed back home b/c we knew there was no way we were getting a parking space. We went to see "Body of Lies" yesterday...it was a good movie, not great but better than okay.

All in all, we had a good weekend. I didn't get my 6 mile run in and my eating was a little out of control but I'm cutting myself some slack...I've had my period for the last two weeks now (I'm on birth control but the last few months I've had a lot of breakthrough bleeding but this is my last month on this BC and Thursday I start something else which has more estrogen in it and should "work" better) and the past week I've been so fatigued. I can tell my iron count is low so I've been eating a lot of spinach and this weekend I had a cheeseburger for the red meat. I'm not trying to make excuses but I also know that I have to listen to my body.

Free Handbag

2008-10-10T10:08:00.002-04:00

Handbag planet is giving away a free purse every hour to celebrate their October 15 launch.

http://www.handbagplanet.com/

It's Friday before a long weekend!!

2008-10-10T09:28:00.002-04:00

I love long weekends!! One of the only good things about my job is that I have a 3 day weekend every other weekend and get off for federal holidays! Woohoo for Columbus!!

Today's a rest/cross train day on my half-marathon plan. I'll do either a walk or the elliptical in the apartment gym depending on how I'm feeling...depends on when I leave work today.

This weekend we are going apple and pumpkin picking!! I'll have to try to remember to take some pictures of our pumpkins after they are carved. Other than that, Stephen will have to work (potentially all 3 days) and I need to get in a 6 mile run, yoga, and maybe more cross-training. Oh, and Oklahoma State plays Missouri Saturday night...I'm hoping for an upset!!

I'm reading "The Heretic's Daughter" by Kathleen Kent right now...it's very good. The beginning is a bit slow but I'm to the really juicy parts now. (It's historical fiction about the Salem Witch Trials.)

Toodles!

What's goin' on?

2008-10-08T06:39:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the silence over the past couple of weeks. I just haven't felt like I've had too much to say and we were gone to Oklahoma over the past weekend. In bullet form, here's what's been going on with me...

Started my half-marathon training on Monday. I'm only a couple days in but so far I'm loving it! It's actually hard to not let myself run on my rest days and to keep my mileage a bit lower throughout the week so I can complete my long runs on the weekend.
Oklahoma State won the game Saturday against Texas A&M and we are now ranked #17!! We play Missouri this weekend (who is #2 or #3 depending on the poll)...hopefully we can pull a fantastic upset!
I had a great time in Oklahoma! I got to see my sister on her birthday and hang out with her a lot!! I really miss my sis...she is truly one of my best friends so it was good to spend some quality time with her.
We took zero pictures when we were in Oklahoma. Well, I took 5 or so of the game but we have no pictures with people we know in them.
I did well eating while we were back. My sister's birthday was the only day where I truly overate and was uncomfortable but I haven't had great Mexican food and birthday cake in the longest time so it was so worth it! Stephen and I ran one morning and Saturday, the day of the game, we did tons of walking while tailgating and stood for almost the whole game. On Sunday my knees were so sore from standing for 3 hours.
All in all, things have been going great. No big complaints from me.
Now I'm off to catch up with all of you lovely people...

Reasons why today is a fantastic day already...

2008-09-26T09:43:00.003-04:00

1-Weighed in this morning to 191.2 which gives me a total loss of 5.6 lbs since 9/4/08!!

2-Even though it's rainy and drizzley I still went for a 5.5 mile run this morning and now I feel AMAZING!! I broke my previous record of 66 minutes (yes, I'm slow but so what?) by 1 minute. I'm aiming to do 15 minutes of yoga tonight just to really stretch my legs.

3-Today is Friday! Yea for weekends!! We don't have any plans but there are a few movies we want to see and we might go to Stephen's favorite bar on Sunday to watch the Redskins and Dallas Cowboys.

4-Less than a week until we go to Oklahoma for the OSU/Texas A&M football game and I get to see my parents, my grandma, and my sis (and on her birthday even!)!!

5-In the month of September I have only missed 5 days of exercise and 3 of those were when I was in Puerto Rico!!

6-I'm wearing a great outfit today...very fall-ish, fashionable and still pretty darn comfy!! And my hair is looking pretty good (and it's even raining outside so I don't know how that happened)!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Running is my crack!

2008-09-24T10:41:00.009-04:00

Hey all, I'm feeling much better (not really better but more at peace) about my brother leaving...it's hard but he's an adult (duh! he's 35) and can make his own decisions. I'll just keep praying and once he gets there start sending him fantastic care packages. :)

This morning I ran 7 miles! I started out with 9 minutes running, 1 minute walking and then once I got to 45 minutes I switched to 4 minutes running, 1 minute walking. By the end though my legs were jelly (but really tight at the same time) and I walked the last .5 mile. Once I was finished I spent at least 10 minutes stretching my legs. It was an amazing run...I really pushed myself. Seriously, running is so addictive, it's my crack! I love running!! Okay, enough gushing about running...I wanted to share a song I downloaded the other day as I was building a new running mix. The song is by Jordin Sparks and it is so motivating to me when I'm running and reminds me to keep hanging in there and be persistent (plus it has a great beat).

Here's the lyrics:
"One Step at a Time"
Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you've always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch
You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus]We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You're confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew
You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus]We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time

[Chorus]Take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

[Chorus]One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

2008-09-22T09:58:00.003-04:00

Hey all...I had a good weekend that had one bad moment. Stephen and I had a ton of errands to do but we got them all done and I got in a workout yesterday. My eating wasn't too bad over the weekend and I made good, smart food decisions. So to the one bad moment of my weekend. I got a call yesterday and my brother will be leaving on September 30 to go to Afghanistan to work on stopping the heroin trade. I've known for a few weeks that he was considering going but I was still hoping he would decide not to go. It's extremely dangerous work. His wife (my sis in law) is on her way to Iraq so both of them will be overseas but in different countries. I'm already worried but all I can do is pray and send them care packages. I'm sorry that this post isn't weight loss or running related but my head and heart are with my big brother. Give me a few days of running to sort this out in my head and I'll be back to my happier self.

Trying but Failing

2008-09-19T10:09:00.002-04:00

I started out this morning very disappointed...I weighed and I was (am) 193.4. I was disappointed because that's up .8 lbs from last Friday. Then I started thinking and even though I worked out 6 days I also ate over my calorie allotment almost every day. When I sat down and figured it out my average daily calories was 2050 which is 250 more calories almost every day last week...that's why I gained. I need to stay closer to 1800 calories a day. Now that Stephen's home he is all about having dessert every night and even though I'm not hungry (and usually don't even want anything) I end up nibbling on his dessert. I'm going to get some sugar free pudding at the grocery store for me to have as dessert and I'm not making any more desserts for him...if he wants them, he can buy them at the grocery store. It's much easier to resist a package of store bought cookies than it is freshly made ones (especially with their intoxicating scent). I've also been taking little bites and tastes of things and those calories add up. So one of this week's goal's is no more of those bites and tastes...if I'm hungry and want to eat something then I can have a snack but just because I'm fixing my lunch for the next day doesn't mean I take a "taste" of peanut butter from the jar.

When I was running this morning (where I had all kinds of technical problems with my HR monitor and my MP3 player but that's another story) I was thinking about something I heard Jillian Michaels say on her radio show. She said that failure can be the best thing to happen to you because if you're failing at least you're trying. Better to be trying but failing than to not be doing anything at all. So even though I failed this past week at least I'm trying and I know what I did wrong as well as what steps I need to take to succeed. This week will be better! And on that note, have a great weekend!!

The old switcheroo

2008-09-18T10:29:00.002-04:00

I took yesterday off...Stephen had an eye appointment so I switched my AWS day that was scheduled for Friday to yesterday so we could spend some time together. I went to the gym in the morning while he was at his appointment. I did 60 minutes on the elliptical...my knee started hurting at the end but I only had 5 minutes left so I pushed through. I wanted to do some strength training but I was hungry (and I even ate some cereal before going to the gym)...I went back to the apartment and fixed myself a small bowl of oatmeal and ate that and then I did 15 minutes of arms using my free weights. I am proud of myself for still doing my weights even though I had to take a refueling break.

I went running this morning and my knee was giving me some problems. Nothing too serious but it's definitely sore. I ended up walking most of my 5.5 miles and I'm about to fix myself an ice pack and start doing some icing.

Here's something funny...I was looking through one of my desk drawers (it's where I keep my tea, snack bars, popcorn, etc.) for some diet hot chocolate to drink while I'm icing my knee and I found a bunch of stuff I completely forgot I had...lifesavers, mints, packets of Crystal Light to mix with water. I feel like I won the jackpot...well, I'm not that excited but still it was quite exciting.

The first "cool" run of the fall

2008-09-16T10:41:00.003-04:00

I went again early this morning for my run and it felt wonderful outside! It was only around 70 degrees and there was a slight breeze...it felt so nice to not be burning up 5 minutes into my run. I actually did a negative split and ended up with a time of 70 minutes for 5.5 miles which is slow but it was a good run and I pushed myself harder than I have in a long time!! Cooler weather does wonders for my running!

Other than that, I don't have too much to say today. Actually, I have something else to say...a couple of weeks ago at the grocery store I bought two Weight Watchers breakfast things to microwave. The first one I tried was a Stuffed Breakfast sandwich and it was delicious. It did have quite a bit of sodium in it but it was a nice change from my usual oatmeal. Today I tried another WW breakfast thing, an english muffin egg sandwich. It wasn't very good. I was hungry after my run so I ate it but it's not very good. I'll eat the one I have left but I won't buy that kind again.

What a blech weekend.

2008-09-15T09:47:00.003-04:00

My weekend wasn't so good. It started off well enough on Friday--I went to the gym and kicked the elliptical's butt then Stephen and I had several errands to run so we did that. Then we proceeded to get in an argument and the weekend just went downhill from there. Stephen and I don't argue or fight hardly at all and when we've gone several months without an argument, I know we're due for one. I don't want to get into what this argument was about but something Roni said in her video last week really struck with me. She was saying that when she has a fight or knows something is going on between her and another person, she writes a letter...she has a hard time talking face to face with someone in those situations. I am exactly the same way. Anytime I have an argument with someone, I basically shut down. I literally cannot say what I'm feeling, my mind just closes up. But if I sit down and start writing, I can get those things out. Interesting observation about myself (and good to know I'm not the only one like that).

So anyways Saturday morning I got up and went to the gym. I told myself I only had to do 20 minutes. Usually once I get started, I'll go longer but my heart just wasn't in it so I only did 20 minutes. Then we went to the Oklahoma State watch party (they won!!) and I did very well at the bar. I only had one light beer and for lunch I chose the spinach salad with grilled chicken...it was really good and I was so proud of myself for making a healthy choice!!

Yesterday we did some more errands and we saw "Righteous Kill." It was an okay movie...about 1/2 way through I figured out what the ending was so the "big twist" wasn't really a twist to me. Other than that we watched football.

This morning I decided that instead of waiting until lunch to run I wanted to run earlier. (I'm back to getting to work by 6:30 now that Stephen's home.) So I went at 7 and it was much quieter and calmer by the monuments and museums. Plus it's good practice for me...I need to get used to running early in the morning since the half marathon starts at 6 am!! I think I'll go early again tomorrow.

Have a great Monday everyone!

Butternut Squash Recipe

2008-09-11T09:21:00.003-04:00

I didn't really use a recipe for the butternut squash soup but here's what I did: I put just a little EVOO in the bottom of my huge saucepan and then added 1 massive clove of garlic (diced). Then I added the butternut squash (the entire thing except for the seeds) which I cut into small pieces and chunks. Next I added my seasonings--a little salt and pepper, 1 Tbsp or so of onion powder (if I had an onion I would have just diced it and added it with the garlic but since I didn't and I still wanted the onion flavor I added the onion powder), 1 tsp nutmeg, 1 Tbsp or so of cinnamon. I let that saute for 5 minutes or so then I added 2 cups of water (I would have used stock but didn't have any). That cooked for about an hour and then I added 3 more cups of water. I let it simmer away for two or three hours while I went to the gym. When I came back I added 6 oz of reduced fat cream cheese and let it cook for another hour before I ate. It made almost 10 cups exactly and I figured each cup to be about 100 calories. A couple of notes: (1) I add the reduced fat cream cheese because it really gives veggie soups a little extra creaminess, and (2) you could use a blender and puree the soup once it's cooked but I didn't do that because I like my soups to have a little something to chew plus the small pieces of the squash completely broke down and the only chunks left in the soup are the bigger chunks of squash.

When I went running on Monday I noticed that about 1/2 way through I just didn't have any energy left. I remember this happening to me when I ran last Thursday as well (at the time, I just chalked it up to not running for a week or so). But I realized Monday that I haven't been eating a morning snack lately because my oatmeal keeps me full. And I'm not hungry when I start running but about 30 minutes in I don't have any energy left and my tummy starts to feel grumbly. So note to self--even though I'm not hungry, I still need to eat a little something before running to give myself the energy to do my entire run.

Today's Plan:

Activity: 5.5 mile run at lunch

Breakfast: WW Stuffed Breakfast Sandwich, 1 banana, grapes and berries

Snack: Chobani yogurt

Lunch: Salad with 3 oz chicken, 1 serving butternut squash soup, 1 whole grain roll

Dinner: Baked chicken, salad, veggie--probably green beans

I love squash!

2008-09-10T09:08:00.003-04:00

So yesterday I went to my annual exam. It actually wasn't too bad. They took blood and started me on the HPV vaccine--Guardasil. Guardasil is a series of 3 shots and I got the first one yesterday...I'll go back in two months and get the second shot. The doctor is also changing my birth control prescription to something with a little more estrogen in it.

After my appointment I went and rented "Baby Mama" (I always give myself some kind of a treat for doing my annual exam). It was a pretty funny movie...nothing too deep...I love Tina Fey, she's awesome!

I went to the gym yesterday afternoon and did the elliptical and bike--that makes 5 days in a row I've exercised. I also made Butternut Squash Soup yesterday for the first time ever...and why haven't I made this before?? It is sooo yummy!! I love it! I've got plenty of leftovers for lunches later this week.

Stephen called yesterday and he's coming home today instead of Friday. He finished all of his work in Puerto Rico so he's coming home early. I have to admit that at first I was a little ticked because I was looking forward to my alone time but now I'm excited. I'm definitely one of those people that doesn't like for plans to change.

Today's Plan
Activity: yoga and abs, arm weights
Breakfast: Total Cinnamon Crunch, skim milk
Lunch: Butternut Squash Soup, banana with 1 tbsp peanut butter
Dinner: ???--maybe out, depends on when Stephen gets in and what he wants to do

2008-09-09T11:04:00.002-04:00

Just a quick check-in this morning. I'm off for my wonderful annual gyno exam this morning...happy, happy joy. I'll have a longer post tomorrow. Have a great Tuesday!

A New Direction

2008-09-08T09:04:00.002-04:00

A confession...I've been really half-a$$ing things lately--weight loss, exercise, job searching. And that's got to stop. I saw a high number on the scale (196.8) last Friday morning and realized how close I truly am to being back at my highest weight (200). I've known for the last couple of months that I was gaining...my clothes were getting tighter and things that were once comfortable are not so comfortable anymore. So Friday morning I sat down and mapped out my week and what I wanted to accomplish. No more of putting in a minimal effort. Putting in a minimal effort yields a minimal result. And I don't want a minimal result, I want a fantastic awesome result! So my goals for the week are (1) take vitamins every day, (2) exercise every day, and (3) follow a calorie schedule in which I've got higher days and lower days. My reward (besides looking and feeling better) is 1/3 of the way to buying "The Office" season 4 on DVD. I have to complete 3 weeks on plan before I can buy "The Office." My plan this week is a bit stricter since Stephen's gone until Friday and it's easier to workout and eat healthy. Not that Stephen doesn't eat healthy but he eats a small breakfast and a large dinner and I'm always much hungrier in the morning so I like to eat a large breakfast and a small dinner.

After making my plan, I bought a new notebook and new stickers. I felt like I needed a new start (plus I miss buying school supplies) in a new notebook. I'm making my goals for the week and then every night going over that day and making notes as well as making goals for the next day. I got some star post-its to mark the days I do well and smiley faces for making smaller goals. I already feel so much more encouraged about it than I have in the last couple of months.

And for the job searching, I don't have any work-work right now so I have no excuses. I've got to find another job...my contract is up in two months (and it can be renewed so I won't be unemployed) but I need to get another job for my own mental health.

On that note, I'm off to hunt down some jobs and do some applying!

Puerto Rico Pictures

2008-09-07T13:41:00.006-04:00

So here's a few of the Puerto Rico pictures...the first one cracks me up everytime I look at it. Between Stephen's super cheesy smile and me squinting into the sun, we look like quite the pair.

Here's some snorkeling pictures. Snorkeling was sooo much fun!!

Picture of me at San Cristobal with San Juan in the background.
Us at the hotel hot tub. At first we thought, "Why does a hotel in Puerto Rico need a hot tub? It's like 80 degrees with 80% humidity every day." And then one day, it was chillier and windy and we understood the hot tub.
Us at San Cristobal.

Us hiking in the rainforest.

Me in La Mina falls in El Yunque rainforest.

The view of the ocean from the hotel's infinity pool. I spent an entire day here reading and napping, it was so peaceful.
Us at the Bacardi Rum Factory.
On the ferry from Catano (where the Rum Factory is) to Old San Juan. Stephen's got an Elvis smile going on.
El Morro in the background.
That's just a few of our best Puerto Rico pictures. It was very overwhelming trying to decide which pictures to post so I stayed away from all the scenic/monument pictures.

Back from PR

2008-09-04T10:06:00.002-04:00

Well, I'm back from my vacation in Puerto Rico. I've got over 300 pictures to upload and sort through...I promise I'll post some pics when I get them all uploaded (and I promise I won't post all 324!).

I had a good trip. Stephen was cranky or in bad mood for part of it...I don't know what his deal was but it was annoying. We did a lot of walking around, hiking in the rainforest, kayaking, snorkeling and so forth but I'm sure that I ate most of the calories I burned off. Could've been worse though.

Not enough time today to do a lengthy post...I'm trying to get caught up at work. Talk to ya'll tomorrow!

Reading and shopping

2008-08-25T09:11:00.005-04:00

So Friday I left work early...there were only 5 people here on my side of the building and I have no work right now so I left to run my errands. I was super tired on Friday and didn't work out like I'd planned. I went by the library to pick up some books and I got "Last Chance Saloon" by Marian Keyes which is one of my favorite chick-lit books.

I own this book but I'm not sure where it is. I started reading it and stayed up until 2 in the morning to finish...which is saying something b/c I already knew how it ended.

Then Saturday I got my haircut and the stylist did such a great job!! I was just getting a trim since I'd like to grow my hair out a little bit but she did a fantastic job and was super friendly! I went to a few other stores and then I saw "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2"--and yeah it's a little cheesy but I loved it! I was laughing and crying...it was a great movie and I'm glad I went without Stephen b/c he definitely wouldn't have enjoyed it. Then I did some things around the apartment but didn't go workout like I'd planned.

Yesterday (Sunday) I woke up and read in bed for a few hours and finished the last book in the Wideacre trilogy by Philippa Gregory. Then I got up and cleaned the apartment and started organizing myself for my trip to Puerto Rico. I went to Target and browsed around and got these shoes:

and this bag (but in purple):

Of course I'm wearing the shoes today and they are pretty comfortable...I'm impressed! I wear a lot of brown (as a neutral instead of black) and I have several shirts or dresses in jewel tones that look fantastic with the shoes! The bag is really great too because it's big enough that I can put a book in it...plus it's purple and purple is a big color this fall (as I noticed at the mall on Saturday).

After my trip to Target I went to the apartment gym and did the elliptical for 30 minutes. I wanted to do more but I was bored and there wasn't anything on TV. But it's 30 minutes more than doing nothing. Then last night I started reading a book that I got at the library:

I'm already 1/2 finished with this book! It's very interesting. I'm hoping to be finished with it before I go to Puerto Rico.

So that was my weekend. Today's plan for activity includes walking to/from the Metro, 5.5 mile run at lunch, elliptical tonight, and arm exercises. Well, I've got some jobs to apply for and I need to print off some driving directions for when I'm in Puerto Rico (just two days away!!).

Lead legs

2008-08-22T08:21:00.004-04:00

I didn't do my 5.5 mile run yesterday at lunch--my legs felt like lead. It would have been easy to skip working out all together but I hit the apartment gym when I got home. I told myself I only had to do 30 minutes on the elliptical but I ended up doing 45. But I was so exhausted after that I didn't do yoga or abs. I planned on getting to sleep early but my sister called right as I was drifting off so I talked to her for 45 minutes or so. Sometimes I ignore the phone when I'm trying to get to sleep but she starts school next week (she's a 4th grade teacher) and I know once school starts her life gets extremely busy so I like to talk to her when she has time to talk since my schedule is more flexible than hers.

My workout plan today is a 5.5 mile run at lunch and yoga and abs this evening. I drove to the Metro today because I have a waxing appointment and errands to run after work...my appointment is at 4:30 and a couple of the places I need to go close at 6 so I wouldn't have time to walk home and get my vehicle and then run my errands.

Weekend plans look like this--
Friday after work: errands, wax appointment, laundry, yoga and abs, Wine and Cheese night while watching a movie or episodes of Lost, Season 3
Saturday: haircut, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, pop into a few stores at the mall (bday card for mom, home fragrance oils), yoga and apartment gym elliptical/stairmaster
Sunday: clean apartment and various things around the house, long bike ride and yoga (maybe?)

Looks good to me--a few errands but also time for me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Peanut Butter Warning!

2008-08-21T09:00:00.002-04:00

The dark chocolate dreams peanut butter I bought a week or so ago is completely gone! It was actually gone before Tuesday which means it barely lasted a week in the apartment. Poor peanut butter, it never stood a chance. So a warning if you're thinking about buying it...it's so good it's very hard to resist. Granted I didn't eat ALL of it but I definitely ate more than my fair share.

I did a 7 mile run yesterday at lunch. I've been trying to be more consistent about taking walk breaks when I'm running so I've started doing the Galloway method where you alternate minutes of running with minutes of walking. I started yesterday with a 3:1 ratio--3 minutes of running followed by 1 minute of walking. I did about 4 miles using that ratio and then switched to a 3:2 ratio to finish. My legs were so tired at the end I literally could not get them to run anymore. I haven't had a run in a long time where I completely exhausted my legs...usually I have a little bit left in me but not yesterday. My goal next week when I run 7 miles to do the 3:1 ratio the entire time and then the week after that I'll do 4:1 until I build up to a 9:1 ratio which is the ratio I want to use for my half-marathon. I've had such a mental block over the past month when it comes to my running and yesterday I felt like I finally got over that mental block. I just took the 7 miles in chunks of 3 minutes instead of thinking about how far I'd come or how far I still had to go or how tired I was. And in that way, running is a lot like weight loss. So much of it is mental. If I think about how I can't have a cookie for the rest of my life I immediately start wanting a cookie but if I choose to think about it as one decision at a time, it's not so unbearable. Same thing with running...if all I think about is how far I still have to go, I immediately want to stop and turn around but if I think about it as one step at a time or one minute at a time, I can run for 7 miles. Wow, that was pretty deep and insightful. See, that's what running 7 miles gets you...you have A LOT of time to think about things.

I didn't end up doing my yoga or abs last night but I did go for a bike ride and ended up being gone for an hour. The plan for exercise today is walking to and from the Metro, 5.5 mile run at lunch (my plan right now is to walk half because my calves are sore from yesterday), and yoga and abs tonight.

An eggplant creation!

2008-08-20T08:51:00.003-04:00

I walked home from the Metro yesterday (it was hot outside too) and did 10 minutes of arm exercises and 5 minutes of ab exercises. I thought about doing a bike ride but I was still so hot from walking home that I couldn't even fathom going back outside. In fact, I did my strength workout in my bra and panties with 2 fans pointed right on me. But I cooked up a delicious dinner. I took my eggplant and sliced into 6 thick slabs. I salted the eggplant on both sides and let it sit for 30 minutes to take the bitterness out while I took a shower. Once I was cleaned up I started a chunky marinara sauce (garlic, olive oil, and 1 can of drained diced tomatoes). I grilled the eggplant on my indoor grill pan and cooked up 1 serving of whole wheat penne. Once the eggplant was grilled I placed 3 slices in an 8 x 8 baking dish, then placed a layer of marinara sauce, some mozzarella cheese, the whole wheat penne, another layer of eggplant, marinara sauce, cheese, and topped it with a few panko bread crumbs for some crunch. I put the dish into the oven for 10-15 minutes until it started to brown on top. I toasted up two mini whole wheat buns and spread them with a laughing cow garlic cheese wedge. And that was my dinner! I could only eat 1/4 of the eggplant dish so I've got some great leftovers (I think I'll put a couple in the freezer). It was delicious and healthy! I thought about taking a picture but I was so hungry and it looked so yummy.

For dinner tonight I'm thinking about broccoli, a side salad, baked sweet potato fries, and summer squash coated in panko bread crumbs and baked. We'll see what I feel like having once dinner comes around.

I walked to the Metro again this morning (I actually LOVE doing this b/c it's cooler in the mornings and starting my day off with some exercise makes me feel like the day is going to be a success) and I plan on walking home today too because I have a coupon for a free gallon of milk that expires today so I want to stop by the grocery store and pick it up. Side note: I'm wearing a wrap dress today and since it's a mile to the Metro I wore my tennis shoes walking this morning and changed into my cute shoes at work--yes I know it's very 1980s-Working Girl but they're comfortable and I know the chances of me walking if I don't have on comfortable shoes are slim to none. I plan on doing a 7 mile run at lunch and a bike ride, ab exercises, and yoga once I get home.

Sorry I'm babbling so much...with Stephen gone I don't have anyone to talk to so I "talk" to you all a lot. I'll shut up now.

Keepin' Busy

2008-08-19T08:36:00.002-04:00

So my weekend was good. I did get a little lonely on Sunday after Stephen left but I've been keeping myself busy so I have less time to think about how much I miss him. I dropped him at the airport around 6 on Sunday morning and headed directly to the grocery store for this week's shop. I was a little nervous because I could only spend $40 but I'm proud to say that I was successful!! In fact, I had a little extra money leftover and bought a small candle to enjoy. Here's what I got for $40 (it's almost all veggies that Stephen won't eat):

1 spaghetti squash
3 zucchini
3 yellow squash
2 cucumbers
3 green peppers
2 containers of grape tomatoes
3 lbs. bananas
1 eggplant
1 sweet potato
6 limes
1 bag spinach
1 bag romaine hearts
2 cans diced tomatoes
1 box whole wheat penne
1 small package of coffee (just enough to get me through this week)
1 small package of Newman's Own Peanut Butter Cups (to eat while watching TV Sunday night)
1 pizza crust mix package
1 apple cinnamon scone for Sunday breakfast
4 bottles of Diet Tonic Water (love this mixed with fresh lime juice)
Plus the already mentioned apple cinnamon candle

I was so proud of myself for only spending $40 and I bought all healthy foods (besides the peanut butter cups). One reason I was able to get away with not spending very much is that I didn't purchase any meat. This week I'm using up the shrimp and fish I have in the freezer. But I am looking forward to getting some different fish to try while Stephen's gone. It's good sometimes for me to have a set dollar amount I can spend when I go to the grocery store...I find that I end up getting a lot of veggies and then I "experiment" a bit in the kitchen to use them all up before they spoil.

On a different note, is anyone else ready for fall?? I'm making myself wear my summer clothes and shoes as much as possible right now but I love fall and I'm ready for the weather to be a bit cooler. I love fall so much!! I love the colors (oranges, deep reds, dark greens) of the leaves and the clothes. I love the smell of pumpkins, apples, cloves, and cinnamon. I'm ready for long sleeve shirts and scarves. Sigh, I'm ready for fall....which is why the candle I purchased was an apple cinnamon scent. It'll come soon enough, I should just enjoy the weather we have now.

I am proud to say that I worked out Sunday. I went after I got back from the grocery store. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, various strength machines, and a 30 minute yoga DVD once I got back to the apartment. Yesterday I went for an hour long bike ride...I didn't want to go too far from the apartment in the event that I had some sort of mechanical problem and had to walk back but I basically did a big loop on various trails. Today I walked to the subway this morning (instead of taking the shuttle, about 1 mile) and I plan on running 5.5 miles at lunch, walking home from the subway, taking another bike ride, and doing total body strength work. See, I'm keeping myself busy...plus all the exercise makes me exhausted and I don't have trouble sleeping like I usually do when Stephen's not there.

Well, I think I've rambled enough for today. Don't forget to check out a few pictures below!! I was having trouble posting the pictures so I only got 3 up but I'll post more tonight.

Canada Pictures!

2008-08-18T19:52:00.006-04:00

Stephen and I outside where the Twins play.

Stephen and I at Rehoboth Beach.

Tyler and I posing with a plastic monkey at the mini-golf course.

2008-08-15T08:44:00.002-04:00

I don't have any time to do a real post today since I'm working on a super secret surprise for Stephen. I have my office door closed because anyone walking by would know that no project for work would require stickers, ribbons, scissors, or glue. I didn't get my run in yesterday...instead I took off early and hung out with Stephen. I plan on doing the same thing today but first I've got to finish The Super Secret Surprise!! (The best part is that I have Stephen thinking it's something completely different from what it really is!!)

Have a great weekend everyone!

You've got to try this peanut butter!

2008-08-14T08:28:00.003-04:00

I have to rave about this new peanut butter we got. It's Peanut Butter & Co's Dark Chocolate Dreams. I had just a small taste last night as I was making Stephen his dessert and it tastes like liquid peanut butter cups!! It's so yummy! I can't wait to have it on my oatmeal tomorrow.

My legs are still a little sore today but not as much as yesterday and I think that running will actually help the soreness go away so I'll be doing a run at lunch today. Also today I'm planning out my workout/eating schedule when Stephen is gone. I have all these ideas about what I want to do and what I want to eat but if I don't plan them out I'll end up eating mac & cheese and doing nothing the entire time he's gone.

Today's Plan:
Activity: 5.5 mile run at lunch
Breakfast: 2 mini whole wheat buns with 1 tbsp peanut butter and 1/2 tbsp honey, Clif bar
Snack: Chobani yogurt, plum, pear
Lunch: Salad with spinach, black eyed peas, peppers, cucumbers, and 2 tbsp light sun dried tomato dressing, 1/4 cantaloupe, 1/2 cup light cinnamon applesauce
Dinner: Shrimp, rice, asparagus, salad