Monday, May 4, 2009

I am woman, hear me roar!

This weekend’s long run was in the weather I was hoping to have last weekend for the race. Overcast and mid-60s…great running weather which led to me running 10 miles in 1 hour, 48 minutes (average of 10:49 minute miles)!! So even though I wasn’t able to meet my goal last weekend for the race, I did it on Saturday. Now this weekend is a half marathon and my goal is 2 hours, 24 minutes (average of 11 minute miles). So far the weather forecast is good…I hope it holds up.

I had a weird epiphany this morning as I was getting ready for work. I feel like a responsible, happy young woman. A somewhat basic epiphany but let me explain why this is so mind-blowing. Since I graduated college I’ve felt like a kid playing at being a grown-up…I had an adult job and responsibilities but still felt in so many ways like I was still a girl. I let others dictate my life, my ambitions, my moods, and my feelings. In the past year, I’ve pushed myself emotionally and mentally to be me and to be the me I’m comfortable with. Embracing me as I see me has allowed me to cross over the threshold from girl to woman.

When I pictured myself as a woman I saw myself as a financially secure, healthy (mentally, physically, emotionally), happy person no longer tied to others’ expectations of me or my own inner critic. I’m not 100% there but I’m so much further than I was…far enough to call myself a woman.

I’m becoming more financially responsible and am working hard to get myself out of debt;
I’m proud of my body and what it can accomplish;
I look at food most of the time now as just food, not comfort or an act of rebellion;
I have an idea of where I want my career to go and how to get there;
I’m in touch with what I need and know how to get it (whether it’s alone time or standing up for myself);
I know what makes me happy (running, cooking, spending time with my man) and how to defeat my inner critic.


Jen said...

THAT is an AMAZING revelation!!!

I see a huge difference since I started reading your blog!!!

That is so fantastic!

Heather said...

wow, that's a great revelation!

You do seem much happier and content in your blogging for sure :)