Thursday, April 17, 2008

Today will be a better day!!

I have to admit that yesterday didn't end up being the great food day I had planned. I ate my breakfast as planned but about 10:30 got the urge to eat cookies. (As a little background, my mom sent me several boxes of girl scout cookies and Stephen insisted I bring them to work since he didn't want them at home. So I brought them to work and have kept them in a locked cabinet. I haven't had too many problems with them being here until yesterday.) I literally ate almost an entire box of the peanut butter sandwich cookies. I just could not stop eating them. After scarfing down the cookies, I thought, "no big deal. I'll just watch my calories the rest of the day." I was determined that the peanut butter cookie incident would not derail my day! Well, I didn't get to go for my run at lunch...beautiful weather but I feel so behind at work which is a total excuse but I didn't go. In the middle of the afternoon I started thinking about those stupid cookies again and what did I do? I proceeded to eat almost an entire box of chocolate chip cookies! Finally, I thought about how ridiculous this was. I wasn't hungry, I was just bored at work, wanting to procrastinate on a project, worried about the decision from my interview. I was eating to numb myself, not for any other reason. So I promptly sent an email to some people at work in charge of organizing social events and donated the remaining boxes of cookies to their events. I got rid of the cookies so no more temptation sitting right in my office anymore!! I still have moments when I'm too weak and I'll give in. Lesson learned: none of that stuff in my office. Only healthy, low-calorie snacks. After the chocolate chip cookie incident (it's majorly pathetic that I had 2 cookie incidents yesterday and have to identify which one I'm talking about), it just went further downhill. It was a total f-it attitude. On the way home from work (I walked again b/c Stephen was working late and I needed to be outside) I stopped at the grocery store to get some more fruit and picked up a bottle of wine. While I was waiting on Stephen to get home, I kept snacking. Again, I wasn't hungry, I was just bored. And I also proceeded to drink the entire bottle of wine last night! Grrrr! I'm so frustrated with myself but I haven't had a falling off the wagon for a while now. Oh well, live and learn. I'm putting it behind me and I'm not dwelling on it anymore.

In other news, I have my blood work later this morning. I haven't been able to eat since last night which bums me out b/c I love breakfast! I'm one of those people who gets really hungry in the mornings...I usually eat two breakfasts. One when I first get to work and then a much smaller, snack-like one about an hour before I run. I hate having blood work done. Needles don't particularly bother me but it's when they put it in my arm, I instantly feel very weak. But it'll be over with quickly. I'm looking forward to hearing the results for my cholesterol and so forth. There's a lot of heart problems in my family so I want to verify that my usual healthy eating and running practices are doing great things for me.

And, on that note, it's time for me to head to the health unit!


Jen said...

Aw, Maris, I am so sorry to hear that!!!! I hate when I have those rough eat to quell whatever emotion you are having and then you just end up with guilt and frustration on TOP of it all!!! ARGH!!!

I love Girl Scout cookies (well in Canada they are Girl GUIDE cookies...and yeah, my MIL always gets me two boxes...eek!)

I hope your day is better girl! *hugs* Good luck with your blood work!

Cara said...

I am a breakfast eater too. I get hungry the second I wake up usually. And when I had to do the blood test I seriously had an anxiety attack/ lack of low blood sugar attack. haha. I am pathetic.

Marianna said...

Girl Scout Cookies... thank God they don't exist here in Spain! In grad school last year my sister and I ordered a TON of them to support a friend's daughter, and the day they arrived at our apartment we were moving into finals week and had since thrown caution to the wind with everything pertaining to the diet. Yeah, they were gone in no time!

Good for you for being able to move on from yesterday and getting back in the swing of things. The most important thing is not beating ourselves up over one or two indulgences- for as much as we try to avoid them, they WILL creep up from time to time. I think the key is being able to work with those days instead of against them, and that in turn will keep us from staying off the wagon for longer periods of time. Does that make sense?

Sara said...

I defintely think you are nervous about the interview results and are eating food to compensate. You know when you are just antsy pantsy and the only thing that somewhat settles you down is eating? That sounds like that was you yesterday. Learn from it and move on!!

I hope the blood letting went well - yuck I hate needles!